True to form, George RR Martin nearly killed HBO Go, the premium cable channel's mobile streaming service last night, with what ended up being a record-breaking premiere for Game of Thrones, the smash series based on Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire serial.
The night prior, the Santa Fe-based author got the SNL parody treatment during a Weekend Update segment in the hands of Bobby Moynihan of "Drunk Uncle" fame.
During the swing and a miss performance, Moynihan's Martin advanced the working titles for the upcoming book: "A Whisper of Yells" or "A Bunch of Clocks."
"I'm just burnt out, you know, the [GoT] world is so vast—you know how hard it is to name 1,000 characters?" he told Update co-anchor Cecily Strong. "I mean, sure, they all start off cool, like Daenerys and Sandor Clegane, but at some point all I can muster is Jaime and Robb."
The character mused on the next book being set in Denver, where three kings—Ross, Rachel and Chandler reign.
Bootleg GRRM also advanced the direction of the much-awaited next tome: "It is 3,000 pages long, everyone you've grown to love dies and something very big is coming…"
Hopefully that something is better fake beard adhesive.