November 7

Seattle

Dear Susan,

I thought I’d send you postcards to keep you updated as I travel on my vacation. I also thought this would be a good way for me to remember how you’d react to certain situations I get myself into, sorta like an imaginary dialogue only you’re not imaginary, you’re still in Fresno. Get it?

It’s cloudy here and I managed to leave my sister’s without my belt again.

Pete

 

November 9

Seattle

Dear Susan,

Seattle is very wet. I took a train downtown and sat next to an obese woman who smelled like an energy drink. You know me and my energy drinks! I know you told me that other people need their space but since we were already sitting so close, I touched her hair a little. Ok, I sniffed it then hugged her. She started to scream and I got scared so I hugged her harder. The next part as you’d say was “unfortunate.”

My sister says I need to be on my way.

Pete

 

November 10

Tacoma

Dear Susan,

Is it bad if you hear crackling in your brain, like a fire in a fireplace, when you sing show tunes?

Is it ok (by you) to sing show tunes in a Foot Locker? These referees don’t think so.

Pete

 

November 11

Tacoma

Dear Susan,

I found a hotel that wasn’t too expensive. It’s a little noisy and allows cats it seems but I try not to pay attention to them. I plan on exploring the neighborhood when the bald woman in the hall stops screaming.

Pete

 

November 11

Tacoma

Dear Susan,

I know you told me getting away would be good for me, especially since I kept forgetting about the restraining order from that Ace Hardware but I’m not so sure now. I’m kinda lost and I lent my cell phone to the bald woman so she could call “her ride” and then “her cozy cuzin.” She said she’d leave it at the front desk which is hardly ever manned.

I gotta go. The guy says he’s got to move his car or he’ll get a ticket.

Pete

 

November 12

Olympia

Dear Susan,

I had to leave Tacoma. It was an unlucky place for me even with my Ecuadorian charms and diet of good fortune. I guess something really bad happened there or it was a built on a series of Indian burial grounds like a super Indian metropolis for the dead! Olympia seems better. I even like saying it: O-Limp-ee-ahh! I asked a few people if they knew Courtney Love. Most laughed but one guy said something particularly nasty so I used my safety training to repel him. As he was limping away, he said some more things but they were mostly sad.

Pete

 

November 13

Olympia

Dear Susan,

I met someone at the bus station who I thought might be Courtney Love. She said she’d pretend to be Courtney Love for 200 dollars and a fifth of something I’d never heard of. She told me she’d bargain, then she said I looked like I had “dain bramage.” I may have messed up with my clippers before I left Fresno. I don’t know.

Pete

 

November 14

Leaving Olympia

Dear Susan,

I don’t feel well. I slept in the bus station because I was scared to leave and meet up with the pretend Courtney Love. She didn’t like me much. By accident, I picked up someone else’s hat box and got on a bus heading to Vancouver. I know what you are thinking. No, not Vancouver, Canada. Vancouver, Washington! Did you know there were two of them? Neither did I. Life’s funny that way, huh?

Pete

 

November 14

Headed to Vancouver, WASHINGTON (not Canada)

Dear Susan,

I stole the hatbox. I’m really sorry but I hadn’t seen one of these since I was a kid back in Nebraska so I swiped it. I know what you say about taking responsibility for my actions so I’ve decided to wear it until I get to Vancouver, Washington (not Canada).  It’s yellow and big and floppy with a ribbon and silk flowers. Once I get to Vancouver, Washington (not Canada), I’ll leave it on the bus with a note that it belongs in Olympia. I don’t think there’s an Olympia in Canada, do you?

I don’t look half-bad. I must say.

Pete

 

November 15

Vancouver (you know by now I think)

Dear Susan,

Boy, did I get some funny looks yesterday on the bus with my hat on. You should have seen it. I tried to explain your idea on taking responsibility but no one really wanted to hear it. Can you beat that? Too bad for them right? That’s what I say anyway. To myself mostly.

Pete

 

November 15

Vancouver

Dear Susan,

Is it “second nature” or “second-hand” nature?

Pete

 

November 15

Vancouver

Dear Susan,

I kept the hat. I’m sorry. And the box.

I suck.

Pete