In honor of the Red Dawn remake that came out a few weeks ago, I've decided to come up with some films that I actually want to see remade.
No one wanted to see a remake of the film that was made right in our own Las Vegas, New Mexico. However, this has become Hollywood's MO—from the upcoming Robocop and Videodrome, to the newly released Total Recall. Hollywood has the morning wood for ready-made products, and everyone but Hollywood wishes it would stop. Sad news, everybody, but this remake craze isn't stopping anytime soon. So, instead giving the middle finger to Hollywood, let's embrace it and wish for these old fogeys to be given a face lift.
Let’s be honest: Tremors wasn't the greatest movie to begin with. But that doesn't disqualify its classic feel and classic ground monsters! This would be a great CGI update that would allow a remake/sequel with an old Kev Bacon.
Yes, it hasn't been even 10 years since this movie came out. Yet this film is begging for a remake. One with better…um…everything! Let's bust out $100 million dollars, CGI, Gerard Butler and have Ang Lee make his appropriate nosedive film into the dark, water abyss, à la-Hulk. He can ruin this film for the better. I have faith.
I am probably the only one who actually wants a remake of this film. But think about it. This film is so fucking whacked out of it's mind, that no one could actually out-do or ruin the original film. Thus, give it to someone who can try and do something completely crazy. It would be the first time Hollywood would actually WANT someone to make a bat-shit insane film. For the director, my thoughts immediately come to Gaspar Noe, for his crazy camera movements, and Guy Maddin, for his inventiveness with black and white.
High Plains Drifter:
I love me some Western, and this one is no slouch. I just love the mystical quality of the Drifter. Yes, he is nearly iconic. But what makes him iconic is the best thing about him. Make an even more mystical version of Drifter. This could almost be taken to the idea of horror or a supernatural thriller. I like the idea of combining anything with the Western. The Drifter is just waiting for his chance to get out of those dusty hills.
Stephen King's classic cocaine bender of a terrible film, deserves a fucking remake. A kid when I first watched this film, it scared the shit out of me. I was always afraid of electronic things coming alive and killing me. Watching the movie now, you can see how bad every aspect of it is; except the concept. This could be a killer horror picture if just taken a bit more seriously. Oh wait, actually, a lot more seriously.
No one is bashing Robert Redford's performance as Roy Hobbs. But anyone who's read Malamud's novel should know that this is a tragic story, not an uplifting one. This was the role that Redford was born for. Not only is he exceptional, but you feel the sadness and disappointment within him. Not sure who would play the new Roy, but I would love to see Malamud's novel given some justice.
Is this film too sacred to be remade? Is it too much of a cult classic to be even touched? I don't think so. I think it could be brilliantly made into a witty, weird, noir comedy by someone who does weird comedies well. One pair of actual brothers jumps out at me: The Coen Brothers. This seems right up their alley. In the right hands, this could actually be worth something.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
The Honda commercial during this year's Super Bowl teased us with an older Ferris, but ultimately gave us a cute slew of references and a Matthew Broderick. I want to see a full-on Ferris Buller sequel. It would be interesting to see where the dead-beat Ferris ends up as an older man, and if he's still qualified to pull the same shenanigans a second time around.
Everyone is up in arms about the new Evil Dead remake. While I could care less about an upcoming remake, I’m more interested in seeing if someone could out-do Peter Jackson in his early gore craze. It would be near impossible to stockpile more blood and guts than that films does. And if we could see a more serious side of the film, rather than just complete camp, I’d see that as a bigger success than the initial blood-fest competition, regardless of who wins. Also, CGI blood equals loser. Gotta use the real stuff!
I imagine next to no one wants this remake. I completely understand. However, I love HP Lovecraft's original story, which was a more reflective idea of what would happen if you actually revived a dead person. Director Stuart Gordon takes a more campy tone with it, but I wish we could get a version where the story is taken more seriously.