--2 File under: Aw hell nah!
Nov. 25, 2015
Via Frito-Lay

Fiery Reason Behind SF's Underperforming Schools Revealed!

File under: Aw hell nah!

October 22, 2012, 10:00 am
By Enrique Limon

In a Sept. 2011, cover story SFR reported on the increasingly bad performance of the Santa Fe School System.

The article cited that 87% of area schools were failing and that its high school graduation rate (53%) was "the second-worst out of all 89 New Mexico school districts."

Yep, worse than Chama Valley Independent and those smug Clovis Municipal School brats.

The solution? Implementing a ban on Flamin' Hot Cheetos, of course.

Yep, certain New Mexico schools are said to join counterparts in California and Illinois in the ban, making the product live up to its "Dangerously Cheesy" slogan.

The Chicago Tribune reports that salty, fatty "hyperpalatable foods" like FHC are in fact addictive thanks to their unparalleled yumminess, like some sort of red, dusty crack.

"The main reason cited by these schools for the ban is a lack of nutritional value. One snack-size bag contains 26 grams of fat and a quarter of the amount of sodium recommended for an entire day."

The Huffington Post reports

Somewhere, Britney Spears is crying a lone, orange tear.

What is your feeling on the proposed measure? More importantly, WWCCD? What would Chester Cheetah Do?

Image via Frito-Lay.


comments powered by Disqus

This Week's SFR Picks


* indicates required
Choose your newsletter(s):
November 4, 2015 by Elizabeth Miller  
November 18, 2015 by Cole Rehbein  
November 4, 2015 by Laura Paskus  
November 4, 2015 by Elizabeth Miller  

Special Issues