Behold the most authentic and badass New Mexico-centric pair of tattoos ever spotted. On one calf of this gentleman is a green chile and on the other a red one, both with a Virgin of Guadalupe ray of light background to boot.

We know what you're thinking: but the image is so blurry, how do you expect us to bow down and praise this newfangled idol you speak of? Thing is, his awesomeness blinds even the smartest of phones and sends fancy camera apps in a tizzy.

Something tells us a third tattoo depicting a mistletoe branch with a scroll that reads "Kiss me, it's Christmas" exists where the rays of light don't shine: