Songs to blast while reading our annual Best Of poll.---
It's been a long and crazy road to our annual Best Of Santa Fe issue (including a real fun couple of emails that were totally personally hurtful), but now that the winners have been announced, you're probably all reading about them and judging the results for yourself. As always, there are a whole lot of categories to get through, and since we love you we've put together a playlist of songs that will be perfect to accompany your reading experience. Note that they are in no particular order.
We want to congratulate the winners and runners-up, and encourage
all y'all to let us know what you think about the results in the
comments section below while you're pumping these tunes and thinking about how damn triumphant they are.
Oh, and before you start wondering if it's on here, "Eye of the Tiger"
has been purposefully left out for reasons of obviousness, and the fact
that it's a stupid song that people only seem to like in a weird ironic
sense, and we're past ironically pretending to enjoy things/it was hard
enough for us to include that song from Karate Kid.
Anyway—TO THE LIST!!
Tina Turner: Simply the Best
When it comes to describing winners of any kind or simply
appearing on a playlist for any sort of competition, we give this song
a big fat "Duh!" In fact, you can insert this number into any
victorious situation and everything will work out just fine. Hell,
it'll work out better than fine! Sure the music is kind of cheesy and
was actually a Bonnie Tyler song first, but when we stack it up
against Tina's indomitable spirit and the way it might work out if
someone were to put this on while accomplishing shit in slo-motion,
it's pretty damn awesome.
Queen: We Are the Champions
I think we all learned a very important life lesson in the last act of D2: The MIghty Ducks,
and it's that when the chips are down and an evil Icelandic hockey team
is bending the rules to win, it's time to blare this song and feel like
the greatest bunch of misfit kids on the face of the planet. Wait a
minute...that was "We Will Rock You"! Well, the point remains the same:
Queen rules and this song will totally give you a victory boner. Might
we suggest that if you're a winner you can call the runners-up in your
category when you know they're closed and leave this song on their
answering machine? Ha! Actually, don't do that because it's just plain
antagonistic.
Joe Esposito-You're the Best
We like this song because it not only works for those who took home top
honors, but it lets the runners-up know that they must never quit even
if that Johnny clown uses an illegal leg sweep—so to speak. It's
important to always try or hardest whether we're facing those Cobra Kai
jerks or just trying to be the best damn vacuum repair shop around, and
despite the fact that we couldn't even find out whether or not Joe
Esposito is even still alive, this song still oughta make you feel good.
Bonnie Tyler: I Need a Hero
We felt bad about dissing her for Tina before, so even though
she's better known for "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and even though
this song is more about hero worship and boning some sort of
mythical/street-fighting superman of some kind and Short Circuit 2 (last
movie reference, we promise...maybe), Bonnie Tyler still rules it, and
this number still feels fucking great. Super-long sentences aside, some of this year's winners are, in fact, downright heroic, and it's up to us to let 'em know. Imagine this jam playing over whatever winner's commercial. Those who lost lay slain in its wake, and
a billion hot models gather around to do whatever it is hot models do.
We'd shop at that place for sure.
Michael Jackson: Beat It
This is for all those winners out there to look at the
competition with a steely glare, challenge them to a close-quarters
knife fight and then let everyone around know who's funky...by which we
mean, of course, the best. With the immortal riff courtesy of
super-shredder Eddie Van Halen, you really can't go wrong with any part
of this song, and it oughta teach a lesson to those uppity second and
third placers—do not fuck with you or your
business/band/non-profit/patio/etc.
R Kelly: The World's Greatest
This dude couldn't write non-goofy lyrics if his life depended
on it (and we're also more than a little partial to his magnum opus, Trapped in the Closet),
but with that said, it doesn't change the victorious message of this
song. You are a mountain...you are a tall tree. And while all you winners out there can be proud to say you're Santa Fe's
greatest, just don't pee on anybody.
Most Rap/Hip-Hop Songs
Instead of writing letters about how you love rap and it's way
more varied than we're saying here and we're stupid and stuff, try and
take this joke for what it is. Yes, there are countless themes
discussed throughout the history of rap and hip-hop, but there are also
a hell of a lot of songs about being the best or the greatest. In fact,
we'd be willing to bet you that you could pick your favorite rapper
and/or MC and he/she would have at least one song about being amazing.
If by some slim chance they don't, just pick up a Kanye West album and
get down to it.
So there you have it, friends, a little playlist for your Best Of reading.
Obviously there are things we forgot or left out, so give us some idea
of your favorite "best" songs below and then get out to congratulate those winners and enjoy whatever it is they might do.
Santa Fe Reporter