Fiesta de Santa Fé and the 10 million events it incorporates can be a little overwhelming with all the food, dancing, entertainment, religious observances, lectures, art fairs, royalty, pet and human parades (you get the idea). That said, we’ve made things easier by creating a quick ‘n’ dirty guide to Fiesta, with events that are more likely to leave you enamored of our little city’s big party than frustrated by ALL THOSE PEOPLE.

Historical Lecture

6:30 pm Wednesday, Sept. 8. $5. History Museum Auditorium, New Mexico History Museum, 113 Lincoln Avenue, 476-5200

Depending on your perspective of the world, an event that commemorates the 1692 reconquest of Santa Fe by Spanish colonists after they were driven out during the Pueblo Revolt is discussion-worthy, to say the least. Before you break out your dancin’ shoes, learn about what you’re celebrating.

Andrew Leo Lovato, an associate professor at Santa Fe Community College discusses Fiesta and how it’s changed since 1712 in "The Santa Fe Fiesta: Reflecting the Changing Face of Santa Fe Culture."

Zozobra

3 pm (but go much later if the thought of sitting in piles of people all afternoon isn't your thing) Thursday, Sept. 9. $10. Fort Marcy Park, 988-1234

At SFR, Zozobra is not only our favorite event of Fiesta, it’s our favorite event of the whole year. In fact, Editor Julia Goldberg is responsible for collecting all of the city’s gloom. (Stop by SFR at 132 E. Marcy St. to give our Gloom Box what ails you; or on the day of we're collecting gloom at Fort Marcy Park.)

It’s pagan-like but decidedly a-religious. It’s cathartic and open to everyone (and everyone goes to Zozobra). It’s also one of the few times one can yell “burn him” like a madman and not be arrested.

There's also lots of music. On tap this year: La Junta, The James Douglas Show, The Reverend Karol King Kong.

Royalty

Something in our reptile brain (the same part of our brain that makes us read, but not buy, tabloids and occasionally watch full episodes of Jersey Shore ) just loves the voyerism of beauty/popularity of pageants. That said, we love seeing who was selected for Fiesta royalty.

Don Diego De Vargas and the queen were selected back in May. De Vargas and the queen, in turn, selected their very large court (De Vargas alone has 18 men) to play historical roles.

And there are oh-so many places to catch this year’s royalty, aka the Who’s Who of Santa Fe.

Throughout Fiesta, the gang will make appearances at local schools and public buildings, the pre-Fiesta show, Fiesta  food and social event Fiestacita, the Mariachi Extravaganza, Zozobra, the kid/pet parade and always near the Plaza, plus so many more locations. If you want to catch royalty for sure, or if you want more info about the aforementioned events, check santafefiest.org.

Des File de los Niños

9 am Saturday, Sept. 11. Begins near Paseo de Peralta and E. Palace Avenue. To participate, complete a form at santafefiesta.org

This kid/pet parade is the least Fiesta-y of Fiesta events, and it includes the cutest things in the world: pets.

Of course, if you can’t get enough of Fiesta events, visit santafefiesta.org for a full schedule of events.