The Eyedropper doesn't say this enough, but, WTF? In case you can't read the label of this high fructose child pesticide, it goes as follows: "Quick Milk Magic Straw: Stick into milk and feel the taste!" Feel the taste? Not if I have one ounce of agency left in my body. In case you were thinking this (found in Pojoaque Supermarket) is just some globetrotting Asian product whose meaning got lost in translation, think again. It comes from Minnesota, where I don't think "feel the taste" is just some local vernacular.

Possibly the most disturbing part of all this is the cow on the label being force-fed its own milk. Second most disturbing is the "natural" label. Everything is meaningless.

Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com, subject “eyedropper.”