--2 Eyedropper
Oct. 24, 2016


Terrible Coffee Costume

October 5, 2009, 12:00 am
By Rani Molla
In case there was ever a moment when you weren't less than two feet from the worst, most expensive coffee in the universe, Starbucks has invented a mobile canister of the crap to be force-fed to passersby on the Plaza.

The paragon of liberal-acceptable capitalism was doing taste tests this weekend to see if people could tell the difference between Starbucks Instant Coffee™® and the company's regular brewed stuff. And—no way—they couldn't. People had no idea which was worse. A little tweaking ("People had know idea which was better!"), and this becomes a multimillion dollar ad campaign.

A little tweaking of the silly vessel this poor Starbucks employee is forced to tote around for the prospect of living wage and health care—assuming he'll be allowed access to the highly touted but practically mythical coverage—and he can be a Ghostbuster for Halloween.

Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures
of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com,
subject “eyedropper.”


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