Letter America Dear Doctor Guy, My friend recently stopped taking my calls because I’m dating her ex-boyfriend, but they broke up like over two years ago. I don’t know what to do.—Helpless Hottie ... More
Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures
of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com,
I was in the mall. Remember the mall? I passed Hot Topic. Remember Hot Topic? And I found a bunch of awkwardly aged goth-ish kids packed in America's favorite anti-mainstream but de facto mainstream store, awaiting (in that awkward mid-growing-stage way of theirs) a concert.
Remember concerts at Hot Topic in the mall? No. In the good old days these kids would've been out vandalizing something, not biding their time at an easy-going concert in Hot Topic no doubt being pacified by music along the lines of Hoobastank.
There was a vigilant chaperon and certainly a strictly adhered to maximum occupancy rule. No graffiti as far as I could tell. Retainers were worn dutifully, shoes tied.
I lingered long enough to get this photo, to see a drum set, a blur of wide-leg jeans (ha, nothing changes, ever), black T-shirts, affected angst and to see a couple fiercely making out with what appeared to be only the tips of their tongues. I left before I could be devoured by pubescence.
Kids, you will be more interesting if you smash something. Start with Hot Topic.