"I don't know if it is just me, but scrolling down a bunch of information is more overwhelming to me," says William, 18.
"I don't really want to click on things," says Maria, 14.
So much for the internet. Scrolling and clicking are out. That leaves...reading? No.
"They fuzz out when confronted with long, uninterrupted blocks of text," the survey says. "They don't seem to be able to absorb information or become interested in it unless it's broken up and illustrated."
OK, got it: Pictures are good. Happy pictures.
"Teens can find the very subjects of the news stressful. News of crimes and wars makes them feel unsafe. News about the economy and the environment worries them."
If "the news is too time-consuming, difficult or unpleasant, it's not worth the effort."
We feel that. Why bother trying to "get" anything? It's a lot of work.
"Understanding the news is not always easy for them... [M]ost news stories and sites assume users possess a certain background of orienting knowledge about issues, players and history - knowledge many teens don't have...
"They don't want to 'follow the news.' That would mean mastering daily ins and outs of a variety of news stories, which requires more background, time and interest than they have."
The news site of the future? It's already here. See it after the cut. (Sorry, you'll have to click.)