Aug. 21, 2014

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Recently, In Court: Plastic Surgery Disasters

April 1, 2009, 12:00 am
By Corey Pein
Episode 2: Life Isn't Fair

SCENE: EAST COAST NETWORK TALK SHOW, CIRCA 1988. A BLONDE TELEVISION NEWS ANCHOR INTERVIEWS A DRAG QUEEN WHO IMPERSONATES MARILYN MONROE.

ANCHOR



You can't take female attributes and try to masculinize them, is that what you're saying?

QUEEN



You can, but it's not as spectacular...

SCENE: MONTAGE. ANCHOR ALTERNATELY FULL OF LAMENT AND RAGE AT SEXIST TV NEWS CULTURE. CLOSE WITH ANCHOR WALKING INTO PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC.

NARRATOR



"In order to be successful on television" she is "required to maintain a youthful appearance." She has "had face lifts and a nose reconstruction."

SCENE: SANTA FE, CIRCA 2006. THE FORMER ANCHOR HAS AGED AND SUFFERS BACK PAIN

FORMER ANCHOR



Ouch.

SCENE: CHIROPRACTOR'S OFFICE


FORMER ANCHOR



I have had previous facial and nose surgeries.

CHIROPRACTOR



I will now palpate your frontal and maxillary sinus area.

FORMER ANCHOR



Hey, that was "forceful, rough, harsh and awkward"!

SCENE: FORMER ANCHORS NOSE SWELLS AND BLEEDS PROFUSELY



Ouch!

SCENE: MONTAGE IN TWO PLASTIC SURGEON'S OFFICES.


PLASTIC SURGEON NO. 1



Your nose has been broken.

PLASTIC SURGEON NO. 2



Your nose has been broken.

SCENE: RECONSTRUCTIVE NASAL SURGERY.

ANCHOR VOICEOVER



I am totally suing that chiropractor.

CUT

From the Santa Fe District Court Case of Mar. 26, Nancy Merrill [Former Anchor] vs. Herbert Beatty [Chiropractor].

 

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