--2 Eyedropper
         
Sept. 25, 2016

Eyedropper

Da Vinci

March 23, 2009, 12:00 am
By Rani Molla


Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com, subject “eyedropper.”



Thanks to Zombie Hunter Mike for having the wherewithal to spot this amid the crowds at Genoveva Chavez Community Center and for having the forethought to know this Illuminati sighting should not be taken lightly. I have not seen/read Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code but I know, someway, somehow, this is part of it. Don't be fooled into thinking this stodgy use of the English language has something to do with a non-native speaker or a poorly spoken native speaker; it is clearly a sign from the occult meant to be deciphered.



Here's what it says:

CUSTOMER OR PATRON NOTIFY YOUR LOCK IS NOT REGISTER IN THE FRONT DESK SO WE ARE GOING TO  NOTICE TO REMOVE YOUR LOCK BY TUESDAY MARCH 17TH 2009. IF BY CHANCE IS THE LOCK IS STILL THERE WE ARE GOING TO CUT THE LOCKED. IF BY CHANCE IS STILL CLOTHING IN THESE LOCKER WE WILL SAFE YOUR BELONGINGS.

THANK YOU!

OK, so here's the super secret way to decipher this probably sacred text: Print out picture. Pick out every 14th letter until you run out of letters or get bored. Rewrite. Superimpose an 8-by-11 inch printout of the Vitruvian Man over this new configuration of letters. Fasten with a pin. Add up the your the numbers in your checking account. Spin the Vitruvian Man that number of times. The answer will be in his hands.

HINT: It has something to do with a previously unknown common lineage between Hugo and Genoveva Chavez and, oh yeah, Opus Dei.

 

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