--2 Eyedropper
March 1, 2015

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February 4, 2015 by Peter St. Cyr  
February 18, 2015 by Peter St. Cyr  
February 11, 2015 by Emily Zak  
February 11, 2015 by Joey Peters  

Special Issues

Protesting the PARCC

Suspended teens want meeting with state officals about the standardized test

Local News A dozen Santa Fe High School students stood in front of the state Public Education Department today, calling for a meeting with Public Education Department Secretary Hanna Skandera over testing that they say goes too far. ... More

Feb. 25, 2015 by Joey Peters




Cuz jail sux

March 3, 2009, 12:00 am
By Rani Molla

Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com, subject “eyedropper.”

Super Secret Undercover Agent Dave Maass had his first trip to Albuquerque on the Rail Runner marred by this sign. But instead of submitting to the myriad and readily available criticisms, I'll pay homage to this beautiful spring morning and offer suggestions on how to make this sign even better!

  • First things first, change "sucks" to "sux." We want continuity with "cuz."

  • Why stop with quotes around "Cuz Jail Sucks"? Insert quotes around "New" and "Bonding" for added fun.

  • When I go to jail, the last thing I want to be reminded of is the institution in which I'm stuck. Therefore, when I go to get bail money, I'd prefer to dial something a little more escapist, say 243-FUNZ or MAD-FUNZ.

  • There's one thing that I'd like everyone in jail whom I'm trying to make respect me to know: I'm a baller. So, when Lady Beast and D-Block are standing behind me and breathing down my neck while I make my bail bond phone call, I'd like them to know that 243-FUNZ is renowned for its 24% bail bonds.

  • So that there is no way Lady Beast and D-Block could ever forget the information on this sign, it should probably be hot pink. Flames around the edges are nice too.


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