--2 First Person Shoe-ter
March 30, 2017

First Person Shoe-ter

January 22, 2009, 12:00 am
By SFR Staff
The reaction from most of the people I know after Muntadhar al-Zaidi hurled his shoe, and his canine invective, at President Bush in a Baghdad press conference: Too bad he wasn't wearing stilleto heels.

Setting aside the additional charges al-Zaidi would no doubt be facing for Muslim cross-dressing, the non-native English speaker-sounding online game "Shoes Bush Worldwide" remedies the problem of the missing heels. In fact the game offers players a selection of footwear, including Vans, skanky Chuck Taylors, Cowboy boots (though not Texas Sandal Boots), clown shoes and even Santa Claus' puffy red boot to hurl at the executive skull.

Each shoe has a classic video game-style rating for speed, accuracy and strength. In addition, one can choose the Arabic insult of preference as well, before clicking on the shoe and tossing it toward the bobbing and weaving shrub. A whiffing noise and an unharmed decider indicate a miss, while a satisfying thwack, a dynamic whack-O-meter and a bruised Bush signify a successfully surgical strike.

Every successive bombardment batters and harries Bush more, almost like gratuitous real-life assaults batter nations more and more with each continued round of devastation. The game's mechanics are a bit awkward and silly, but there's something graphically cathartic about nailing the former Commander-in-Chief with a well-placed wedge and watching his already ruddy mug go dark with bruises.

Most strange, or perhaps most normal, is that clicking on the presidential blazer opens a pop-up link to a Lebanese-based web maintenance company, PWEMA.com.

No, what is in fact most strange is that, on completion of the game, ie, depletion of one's shoe supply, one is offered the chance to buy related products, including--but not limited to–-a bright yellow Converse hi-top that reads "I whacked Bush with a shoe in cyber space."


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