It’s a bustling Saturday morning at the Santa Fe Farmers Market, and Sarah Noss’ casual attire and friendly, understated air are almost enough to make her blend into the general commotion.

For years, many Santa Feans I know have been spending their summers participating in an odd ritual called the shoe-b-que.

Right now, in a secret training facility south of Deming, approximately 175 ducks are preparing for the defining moment of their lives: the Great American Duck Race, a weekend event this summer that will judge the feathered beasts’ speed, strength and general sense of direction under festival duress.

As a guy who uses the internet for a lot of research, I can tell you two things you can’t learn much about online: rain and mushrooms. Want to know how to raise chickens? The internet can tell you. Want to know how to deliver a non-fatal donkey punch? The internet is your friend.

is adventure for the people: Owned and run by the Presbyterian Church since 1955, Ghost Ranch is a nonprofit, open-to-the-public educational retreat center in one of the most beautiful settings in northern New Mexico.

It behooves no one’s circadian rhythm to rise before dawn, chase a full moon down I-25 and arrive at the existential crisis that is the Bernalillo exit Starbucks in the bright light of daybreak for anything short of a death in the family—or wild horses.

My advice? Jump in the car and head south, blowing by Albuquerque and all those hipsters whining at the Frontier; Socorro and the New Mexico techies pretending they know how to golf; dont even stop in T or C this time because who wants all those spaceporters and yoga freaks messing with your jones?.

From Yellowstone to the Statue of Liberty to Little Rock Central High School, national parks and monuments dot the American landscape. New Mexico is home to a healthy heap of nationallyrecognized sites, and theres no better time than the present to ditch the European vacation and explore the wonders available right in your own backyard.

My dive buddy, a German road tripper Id met 10 minutes before descending, gave me the OK signal with his hand and smiled through his regulator. We continued upward along the perimeter of the Blue Hole, where other dollar-store toys dotted the walls. Except for a handful of skittish crawfish, there was nothing else to see.

If youve ever wanted your children to learn about trajectory, projection, force and motion, dont wait for them to learn on the streets or from a crazy scientist. Talk to them about foam-tipped rocket use today. Toyopolis, 66 W. Marcy St., 988-8994.