’Twas four months before Christmas, and all through the town, holiday
cheer was nonexistent, which made me feel down. Suddenly, out by the
office dumpster, there arose such a clatter that staff writer Justin
Horwath and I arose to see what was the matter. Then what to our
wondering eyes should appear, but a fake Christmas tree—seven feet
tall—with lights, a star, ornaments and all.