March 6, 2015

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February 4, 2015 by Peter St. Cyr  
February 11, 2015 by Emily Zak  
February 11, 2015 by Joey Peters  
February 25, 2015 by Joey Peters  

Special Issues

 

 

People Suck, and So Does This Movie

Take heart; the Italians are as bad as the Americans if 'Human Capital' is proof

Barf If Human Capital is the kind of thing that’s supposed to pass for great foreign cinema these days, we’re all assuredly fucked.

Feb. 18, 2015 by David Riedel

Gobbledygook and Silliness

'Jupiter Ascending' is so, so bad

Barf Is it too early to declare the Jupiter Ascending the worst movie of 2015? Probably, but there's going to have to be some serious shit out there to compete with it.

Feb. 04, 2015 by David Riedel

Oh, Enough

Let’s hope 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies' sits on its own sword

Barf The Battle of the 144 Minutes I’ll Never Get Back became the epitome of everything shitty about the 2014 movie year.

Dec. 16, 2014 by David Riedel

Eternal Vanity

'The Immortalists' could be fascinating, but its subjects aren’t

Barf The Immortalists takes an intriguing premise and squanders it with one of the least likable documentary subjects to ever grace the screen.

Dec. 09, 2014 by David Riedel

Piece. Of. Shit.

'Horrible Bosses 2' is so bad it defies comprehension

Barf There are four laughs in Horrible Bosses 2, but at 108 minutes, you deserve more than a laugh every 27 minutes.

Nov. 25, 2014 by David Riedel

It’s 'Twister' Part 2!

'Into the Storm' is worse than bad; it’s boring

Barf Into the Storm is so similar to Jan de Bont’s mid-1990s unintentional larf-fest that one wonders how Warner Bros. isn’t suing itself.

Aug. 05, 2014 by David Riedel

Planet of the Dopes

Hopefully 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes' is followed by 'Demise'

Barf First there was Rise. Before that there was Tim Burton’s remake. Before that there were five Planet of the Apes films, the first of which has the distinction of being adapted by Rod Serling, so at least it’s subversive and progressive.

July 15, 2014 by David Riedel

A Contender for the Worst Movie Ever Made

'Third Person' is rotten, rotten and rotten

Barf Director Paul Haggis could have done the audience a big favor by making a short movie, as the endless narratives of Third Person don’t allow for any one story to dominate.

July 09, 2014 by David Riedel

Misogyny Disguised as an Art Film

Nymphomaniac: Volume 1 is stupid, uninspired and cruel

Barf Don’t get caught up in the Nymphomaniac hype. It’s a meticulously produced piece of shit.

April 01, 2014 by David Riedel

300: Rise of my lunch

‘300: Rise of an Empire’ proves too much blood can be boring

Barf 300: Rise of an Empire has no ideology, purpose or ambition beyond being blood-and-guts spectacle on a massive scale. If that’s your idea of a great flick, please enjoy. 

March 03, 2014 by David Riedel

It's Finally Here! And This Is It?

'Fifty Shades of Grey' is 50 shades of meh

Meh Now that Fifty Shades of Grey is upon us and we can get past the hype, here’s the real deal: It ain’t bad. It isn’t good, either, but it’s also not the train wreck that most people seem to wan

Feb. 16, 2015 by David Riedel

Respect for the Dead

'Still Life' works until it takes a disastrous turn

Meh At what point does a filmmaker decide he’s going to kill a good story in exchange for poignancy?

Jan. 20, 2015 by David Riedel

It's War

'American Sniper' is a soldier’s story; if only others worked into it

Meh American Sniper represents a return to form for one of our great directors. Clint Eastwood is in command of the material; if only the material were better.

Jan. 13, 2015 by David Riedel

Divorce for Dummies

'Goodbye to All Tha't has moments but is nothing special

Meh Goodbye to All That would be more enjoyable if Otto weren’t such an idiot.

Jan. 13, 2015 by David Riedel

Dicks, Asses and North Korea (Oh My!)

Eh, 'The Interview'

Meh So after all the threats and delays and hacks and brouhaha, it comes down to a bunch of jokes about Seth Rogen’s ass and James Franco’s dick.

Dec. 29, 2014 by David Riedel

Another Holiday, Another Musical

'Into the Woods' should have been put in turnaround

Meh Into the Woods suffers from serious cases of a) the cutes; b) the dull production design; c) the egregious casting; and d) the sloppy direction.

Dec. 23, 2014 by David Riedel

It’s Not Even in the Top 10

Chris Rock doesn’t make it in 'Top Five'

Meh One thing is clear about Chris Rock: He wants to make good movies.

Dec. 09, 2014 by David Riedel

After Hours With a Kid

'Before I Disappear' almost works

Meh Before I Disappear is almost a good movie, but it can’t escape its origins, the Academy Award-winning short film Curfew.

Dec. 02, 2014 by David Riedel

You're Better off at the Hanging Tree

'The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1' squanders…everything

Meh Does the creative team behind The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 see the parallel between its characters’ cynical use of propaganda and the movie studio’s cynical marketing decision to turn the final book in Suzanne Collins’ trilogy into two movies?

Nov. 20, 2014 by David Riedel

What We Talk about When We Talk about Overblown

'Birdman' has too much production and not enough story

Meh Co-writer and director Alejandro González Iñárritu is more concerned with the whiz-bang look of Birdman than genuine human emotions.

Nov. 04, 2014 by David Riedel

Good Riddance, 2014

It was a bad year for good movies and a good year for bad movies

Movie Reviews So 2014 is finally over, and I think I speak for everyone who loves movies when I say: Good goddamn riddance, 2014. You sucked. Like, REALLY SUCKED.

Dec. 30, 2014 by David Riedel

It’s a Wrap!

2013 was a year filled with glory, slurps and triple barfs

Movie Reviews So this year was a pretty good one for movies. It’s just that movies that were bad were so bad. Just inexcusable. Sweet Jesus. But we’ll get to those after my five favorite movies of 2013.

Dec. 31, 2013 by David Riedel

Fall Flicks

It’s the attack of the award-worthy films!

Movie Reviews Welcome to autumn. As we all know—and if you don’t, WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU LIVING UNDER A ROCK?—it’s the time of year when the studios, big and small, start pushing their awards fodder picture

Oct. 25, 2013 by David Riedel

Blood and guts… gotta problem with that?

'Machete Kills' is long, dumb, and a lot of fun

Movie Reviews The early reviews for Machete Kills have largely been unkind. The big gripe appears to be that Machete Kills is too long, too repetitive and too superviolent. How many of these critics have seen a Robert Rodriguez movie before?

Oct. 11, 2013 by David Riedel

Tom Hanks… and pirates

'Captain Phillips' has its moments

Movie Reviews Sometimes when watching a movie that’s particularly emotionally distressing, one has to ask, “Just how much harrowing adversity can we watch these characters go through? What’s the endgame here?

Oct. 09, 2013 by David Riedel

Nothing to see here

'Love, Marilyn' is truly lame

Movie Reviews Hey, here's something to savor. A bunch of actors reading—on camera no less!—words by lots and lots of people who have written things about Marilyn Monroe. And words by Monroe herself.

Oct. 09, 2013 by David Riedel

I Seem to Be Floating, And Downward

It’s ‘Gravity’!

Movie Reviews Calling a movie Newton’s Laws of Motion would probably have the potential audience running for the hills.

Oct. 01, 2013 by David Riedel

Not Enough

‘Enough Said’ is delightful

Movie Reviews It’s a shame there aren’t more movies like Enough Said. It’s a touching (and truly hilarious) comedy with moments of drama about people who are actual adults—people with children and responsibilities and jobs—and not just assholes who work in graphic design.

Oct. 01, 2013 by David Riedel

Come for the Crashes, Stay for the Story

Rush is better than it should be

Movie Reviews It’s that time of year between the end of summer and the beginning of the Oscar races when, traditionally, the genuine crap starts hitting the multiplexes. (You’ll also find crap from January to March, and, depending on your point of view, all year.)

Sept. 24, 2013 by David Riedel

Characters and Audience Abused

It comes together quite easily in Short Term 12

Movie Reviews I recently had a conversation with another critic about the jarring transition that some actors make from playing high school students to playing adults. For my money, the biggest jump is Jon Cryer playing Duckie in Pretty in Pink (1986) to playing 27-year-old stockbroker Andrew in Hiding Out (1987).

Sept. 24, 2013 by David Riedel

Celebrity with a Side of Gross

'Maps to the Stars' is in its own galaxy

Ok Maps to the Stars is a nasty little film—and though I use “little” a little pejoratively, it’s better than his last three.

Feb. 24, 2015 by David Riedel

The Long Weekend

'Two Days, One Night' gets at class struggles and has a masterful lead performance

Ok  The Dardenne brothers make films that are, simply put, not for everyone.

Feb. 04, 2015 by David Riedel

Dirty Ol’ New York City

'A Most Violent Year' has elements of a great movie but falls short

Ok  A Most Violent Year shows the fallout on the human psyche of terroristic threats.

Jan. 27, 2015 by David Riedel

Too Much Time on My Hands

'A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night' is almost as good as it’s rumored to be

Ok Now that I’ve seen A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, I can sound off on whether its tagline—“the first Iranian vampire Western”—rings true.

Jan. 20, 2015 by David Riedel

Hungry?

'The Search for General Tso' gets to the bottom of the popular dish

Ok As with all documentaries about deceptively simple subjects, The Search for General Tso seems to be about one thing but is actually about a much bigger topic.

Jan. 06, 2015 by David Riedel

Don’t Go West, Young Women

'The Homesman' is unrelenting and bleak

Ok The question of a woman’s value is at the heart of The Homesman, director Tommy Lee Jones’ decidedly feminist Western.

Dec. 02, 2014 by David Riedel

Flightless and Buoyant

The waterfowl in 'Penguins of Madagascar' are good for some yuks

Ok For those who like their animated movies crazy and with a throw-it-at-the-wall-and-see-if-it-sticks attitude, this is the flick for you.

Nov. 25, 2014 by David Riedel

Comedy and Torture

'Rosewater' almost works

Ok Jon Stewart’s debut as writer-director almost works, and it’s not quite good, but it’s certainly better than a rainy day flick.

Nov. 11, 2014 by David Riedel

We Call Upon the Author

'20,000 Days on Earth' documents Nick Cave

Ok If you’re a casual Nick Cave fan 20,000 Days on Earth probably isn’t for you.

Oct. 21, 2014 by David Riedel

Shot In the Heart and You’re to Blame

'Rudderless' is better than it has any right to be

Ok Despite every story beat being telegraphed way, way in advance Rudderless remains so watchable.

Oct. 14, 2014 by David Riedel

What Did You Do in the War on Terrorism, Daddy?

The Interview debacle isn’t over, and it’s pretty bizarre

See By the time you read this piece, it will be a week since Sony canceled the release of James Franco and Seth Rogen’s comedy The Interview. And then news broke Tuesday that the The Interview will screen on Christmas after all, just in limited release.

Dec. 23, 2014 by David Riedel

Killing Hollywood-Style for Real

‘The Act of Killing’ is a bizarre must-see

See The Act of Killing is such a surreal movie it’s almost hard to believe that all the killings in it took place. 

Feb. 25, 2014 by David Riedel

Vampires, Transcended

What We Do in the Shadows is an unexpected take on old favorites

Yay You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you skipped out on What We Do in the Shadows if you’re skeptical of vampire films or fake documentaries.

March 04, 2015 by David Riedel

The Inner War

'Queen and Country' picks up where 'Hope and Glory' left off

Yay In Queen and Country, preparing for war is dull, dreary, and an excellent opportunity to make mischief.

March 04, 2015 by David Riedel

Under Their Thumb

'Timbuktu' humanizes the players in a totalitarian regime

Yay Director and co-writer Abderrahmane Sissako humanizes the jihadists without ever sympathizing with them; he’s on the side of ordinary people being forced into a totalitarian existence.

Feb. 25, 2015 by David Riedel

Political Action

'1971' details a little-remembered break-in

Yay After the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy, the Kent State shootings, and amid the escalation of the Vietnam War, a group of anti-war activists took it upon themselves to do something about what they suspected was illegal activity perpetrated by the FBI.

Feb. 11, 2015 by David Riedel

Slipping Away

Julianne Moore delivers the goods in 'Still Alice '

Yay Still Alice is an assured piece of drama, and with Moore’s commanding performance—and Alzheimer’s—it has all the gravitas it needs.

Feb. 11, 2015 by David Riedel

Young Whippersnappers All Grown Up

'Boyhood' is back!

Yay Boyhood is magnificent, and the banality is charming.

Jan. 06, 2015 by David Riedel

You Can’t Escape the Babadook

'The Babadook' is so good I’m spouting its propaganda

Yay The Babadook is a psychological drama about the worst parts of ourselves, and whether we choose to give in to the worst parts of ourselves.

Dec. 16, 2014 by David Riedel

F Is for Fake

'Art and Craft' follows a prolific art forger

Yay So what happens when a prolific art forger dupes dozens of museums? Is he arrested, tried and convicted? Not if you’re Mark Landis.

Nov. 18, 2014 by David Riedel

Happy Notes

'Keep On Keepin’ On' chronicles jazz great Clark Terry

Yay In the last few years, it seems that music documentaries about iconic people, places and things have been popping up every six months.

Nov. 18, 2014 by David Riedel

Turn My Pages, Bitch!

'Whiplash' is hard to watch but fascinating

Yay Whiplash is so committed to letting its characters be rotten that it puts the tiniest of barriers between the audience and the movie.

Nov. 11, 2014 by David Riedel
 
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