7 Days

1

THE BACHELOR SHACKS UP IN POJOAQUE

City councilors are mad that he didn't put out.

2

INDOOR TANNING RISKS ADMITTED

Go outside; lie on a rock. There's your tanning bed. Don't forget the sunscreen.

3

BLUE CORN TORTILLA UFO SPOTTED IN ABQ

Because admitting that it's a weather balloon is boring.

4

BLUE GORILLA SHOWS UP IN RAILYARD PARK

That's more like it.

5

MITT ROMNEY MULLS 2016 PRESIDENTIAL RUN

This time binders full of women will make 47 percent of his decisions.

6

SPACEPORT OFFICIALS SEEK EMERGENCY MONEY

At this point, we'd have gotten a better return our investment in a Ponzi scheme.

7

GOVERNOR GOES FOR THIRD GRADE RETENTION AGAIN

Even though Groundhog Day isn't until next month.

Santa Fe Reporter