Misogyny Disguised as an Art Film

Nymphomaniac: Volume 1 is stupid, uninspired and cruel

Don't get caught up in theNymphomaniac hype, ofwhich there are several iterations: "It's feminist!" "It shows the actorsfucking on camera!" "It's straightforward in its depiction of nymphomania!"

It's not feminist. Itshows actors—none of the leads, who were doubled—having penetrative sex. Andmaybe it's a straightforward depiction of nymphomania. But that doesn't getaround one inescapable fact: Nymphomaniac: Volume 1 is a piece a shit.It's a meticulously produced piece of shit (whatever happened to Dogme 95?),but a piece of shit nonetheless.

The reason it's a piece ofshit isn't because of its subject matter, but because it's spectacularlyboring. The nymphomaniac in question is Joe (played as a young woman by StacyMartin and, in the present, by Charlotte Gainsbourg). As she puts it, "Idiscovered my cunt at age 2." Hearing a woman so freely use the word"cunt" is supposed to be shocking, but it's classic von Trier: atransparent device used to throw the audience off guard and announce with allthe subtlety of a sledgehammer to the nuts that this movie is trying to beprovocative.

Of course, subtlety isn'tvon Trier's thing. Maybe that's why Martin's performance is so confounding inits dullness. Maybe she can't act. Maybe being unaffected is a choice becauseher character uses sex to numb out (but she doesn't, really). Whatever thecase, watching her is akin to consuming bromide. There is no discernibleemotion on her face. She simply looks tired.

(For a master class onwhat one actor can do with a blank face, please see Delphine Seyrig in JeanneDielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles by Chantal Akerman.)

Then there's Shia LaBeoufas an Englishman. (That's not a typo.)

The story revolves aroundJoe—having been found unconscious in an alley and presumably beaten—tellingSeligman (Stellan Skarsgård) her life story as she recovers in his guest room.The source of the film's alleged humor comes from their interplay; he keepscomparing her sexual proclivities to fly fishing. If you know anything aboutfly fishing, it's as contrived as it sounds.

One of the most irritatingattempts at humor comes when Joe, having been abandoned by Jerôme (LaBeouf)years before, finds a torn picture of him in a park, then runs into him amoment later. As Joe tells Selgiman the story, he says he can't believe shefound Jerôme's picture and then crosses his path. The exchange between Joe andSeligman sums up Nymphomaniac: Volume 1: It's lazy and contrived, knowsit's lazy and contrived and doesn't give a shit that it's lazy and contrived,but it wants you to think it isn't lazy or contrived.

There is one bright spotamid the detritus: Mr. H (Hugo Speer) leaves his wife and three kids to be withJoe. Then Mrs. H (Uma Thurman) shows up at Joe's apartment with the three kidsin tow to shame Joe and her soon-to-ex-husband. "Children, let's see daddy'sfavorite place!" says Mrs. H as she leads them to what she calls "the whoringbed."

It's a long, uncomfortableand blisteringly funny scene. Chalk it up to Thurman and a moment of lucidityfor von Trier.

In a way, von Trier'scareer has been leading to Nymphomaniac, but it feels like stasis. If hereally wanted to shock people, he'd direct the final chapter of The HungerGames.


NYMPHOMANIAC: VOLUME 1 Directed byLars von Trier With StacyMartin, Charlotte Gainsbourg and Shia LaBeouf CCA Cinematheque NC-17 118 min.

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