January 22, 2014, 12:00 am
1 PROPOSED HORSE SLAUGHTER PLANT BLOCKED BY FEDERAL LAWThank you US Senate and the House of Representatives for the neigh vote.
2 NM RANKS NO. 27 ON GLOBAL MARKETING FIRM’S MOST MILLIONAIRES PER CAPITA LIST
Forrest Fenn promises we’ll break top 10 once his treasure is unearthed.
3 ON THE FLIP SIDE, WE’RE NO. 1 IN A REPORT PUBLISHED IN THE WASHINGTON POST!
Oh, never mind, it’s for stagnant population growth (insert Debbie Downer trombone here).
4 COMEDIAN AZIZ ANSARI CANCELS SANTA FE APPEARANCE
A moment of silence for all the new food nicknames lost.
5 POLITICAL COMMITTEE PUSHING FOR A FULL-TIME MAYOR AIMS “TO SECURE A BETTER FUTURE FOR ALL SANTA FEANS”
Grassroots campaigns, “Horse meat for all” and “New Mexicans for better spots on lists” follow.
6 MAISIE WILLIAMS APPEARANCE AT THE JEAN COCTEAU CINEMA DRAWS RECORD CROWD
There’s only one way you can top this, George: live dragons.
7 LOCAL RESIDENT JENNIFER MCCARTHY ACCUSED OF WHIPPING OUT GUN FROM HER PRIVATES AND ASSAULTING BOYFRIEND AFTER ARGUING OVER SPACE ALIENS
Or as we call it here at SFR, Friday.