7 Days

1

PROPOSED HORSE SLAUGHTER PLANT BLOCKED BY FEDERAL LAW Thank you US Senate and the House of Representatives for the neigh vote. 2

NM RANKS NO. 27 ON GLOBAL MARKETING FIRM'S MOST MILLIONAIRES PER CAPITA LIST
Forrest Fenn promises we'll break top 10 once his treasure is unearthed.

3

ON THE FLIP SIDE, WE'RE NO. 1 IN A REPORT PUBLISHED IN THE WASHINGTON POST!
Oh, never mind, it's for stagnant population growth (insert Debbie Downer trombone here).

4

COMEDIAN AZIZ ANSARI CANCELS SANTA FE APPEARANCE
A moment of silence for all the new food nicknames lost. 5

POLITICAL COMMITTEE PUSHING FOR A FULL-TIME MAYOR AIMS "TO SECURE A BETTER FUTURE FOR ALL SANTA FEANS"
Grassroots campaigns, "Horse meat for all" and "New Mexicans for better spots on lists" follow.

6

MAISIE WILLIAMS APPEARANCE AT THE JEAN COCTEAU CINEMA DRAWS RECORD CROWD
There's only one way you can top this, George: live dragons. 7

LOCAL RESIDENT JENNIFER MCCARTHY ACCUSED OF WHIPPING OUT GUN FROM HER PRIVATES AND ASSAULTING BOYFRIEND AFTER ARGUING OVER SPACE ALIENS

Or as we call it here at SFR, Friday.

Santa Fe Reporter