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Music 12.11.2013

Give, Dammit!

December 11, 2013, 12:00 am

It might be just a little early to offer up musically-based gift suggestions, but I got to thinking that if, like me, you can’t take another 8 am dash to Giant on Dec. 25 and the sadness that comes with gifting someone a $6 gas station copy of Joyride (RIP Paul Walker), you might want to get it together early. I mean, if Lifetime can already play Christmas movies about how people in their mid-50s thought they’d never bone again but then do, I can certainly get an early-ish start on gift suggestions.

For the Very Young

A lot of new parents I know are going nuts and buying their baby who can’t even hold his/her head up yet a million gifts that’ll never actually be used. If you’re someone doing this, think about how important music is to early development and try local troubadour Joe West’s 2009 album If the World Was Upside Down ($9.99-$12.97, available though It’s a little older, but no less awesome and it isn’t every day a local puts out a kid’s record. Bonus aspect: your older kids will like it, too, even if they don’t admit it.

For Your Dumb Friends

TV has us all convinced that we’re somehow bad people if we don’t hand out gifts to every last fucking person we’ve ever met, but it’s unreasonable for your friends to expect a lot. Still, in the spirit of niceness and giving, get a card, write a nice note and then include a coupon that says something to the effect of “I will pay your covers at local concerts once a month for 12 months.” Actually, I’m impressed with myself here for this really cool idea, so I’ll just be dusting my hands off and feeling smug.

For the Teens

Your teenager is probably blah blah blah-ing about how he’s going to be a rockstar while you roll your eyes and think about the ill-fated days when you and your dumb friends started a band, got booked at some school or summer camp dance and then realized you only learned to play “Smoke on the Water” and not even well. Not to worry, though, because The Candyman (851 St. Michael’s Drive, 983-5906) is offering up a bunch of great instrument deals for X-Mas. If you’re concerned your kid is going to toss the guitar in the closet after he/she isn’t great at it right away, you could do a lot worse than a decent Fender for $200 and tons of other deals.

For Anybody

You’ve seen him shred with Moby Dick and Lovegun and now you can learn an instrument under his tutelage. That’s right, nerds, Mikey Baker offers guitar lessons to folks of all-ages. Additionally you can pick up tips and tricks for drums, piano and bass. Merry Christmas, indeed!

For the Adults

There are two bands operating in Santa Fe right now that have such universal appeal that anyone could dig ‘em. And yet, to truly enjoy the nuance and skill at play, you might want to be a more refined music aficionado; or at least old enough to think Katy Perry is stupid. Look, I could go on and on, but I’ve reviewed both these records already, so just buy Pigrow by Luke Carr and As Above, So Below by As In We. They’re only $7 apiece so you can get both easily.

For Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Write a song from the heart. Or commission someone to help you if you aren’t musical. In fact, I vow to help at least one person write a song for his or her significant other this year should they want it…you all know how to find me. Please note, I take no responsibility for jerks who only care about actual, physical gifts.

For the Old Folks

I can’t wait to be old so my endless string of complaints and bitching are chalked up to years of experience and abject bitterness from a cold, lonely life. Anyway, my point is this—old folks hate loud noises, so pick up some noise-canceling headphones. Local electronic superstore Constellation (215 N Guadalupe St., 983-9988) offers selections from B&W and Pro-Ject at some very reasonable prices. Really, it’s a great way to stick grandma in the corner and keep her quiet so you don’t have to contend with the reality that is the falling sands of mortality. 


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