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Blood and guts… gotta problem with that?

'Machete Kills' is long, dumb, and a lot of fun

October 11, 2013, 12:00 am

The early reviews for Machete Kills have largely been unkind. The big gripe appears to be that Machete Kills is too long, too repetitive and too superviolent. How many of these critics have seen a Robert Rodriguez movie before? 

Sure, nearly all of it is distasteful. But perhaps we should just pay our $11, sit back, let a bunch of people kill the shit out of each other for laughs on the big screen, and then let it go. At least Machete Kills knows it’s a mockery. Quentin Tarantino’s movies have the same sex, violence, and brouhaha, but take themselves so seriously they’re hard to enjoy (see: Inglorious Basterds, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Death Proof).

So here’s what to expect when you see Machete Kills: Roughly a dozen beheadings; severed limbs; one burned face; many people shot in the head; Sofia Vergara, playing it so over the top that her character on Modern Family looks downright normal; subtle and not-so-subtle jabs at America’s attitude toward Mexico; a superdumb and useless performance by Charlie Sheen as the President of the United States. 

It doesn’t make sense. The plot doesn’t matter. It’s dumb, long and dumb. But boy, is it a lot of fun.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez
With Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez and Amber Heard
Regal Santa Fe Stadium 14
107 min.


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