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Best of Santa Fe - Drink It!

Best of Santa Fe - Drink It!

July 23, 2013, 12:00 am
By SFR
Best manly drink

OK, bros: you might recall the hazy boyhood nights of drinking a case of Budweiser or a bottle of Wild Turkey, straight, in some sort of twisted hope that inebriation via manly-man beverages like beer and whiskey will somehow impress a potential mate into copulation. But now that you’re a man, you’ve probably discovered that, in fact, a silver bullet train full of bikini-clad babes doesn’t tear through your backyard BBQ every time you open a Coors. Accordingly—as a man—you’re not going to fall into the commercial trappings of what they say a man should drink. Rather, you should just listen to what SFR says a real man should drink: margaritas. Sure, they’re fruity-colored and have “liqueur” in them (which sounds European and thus unmanly). But paradoxically, those attributes are what make margaritas manly: any guy seen in public consuming a pink, frozen beverage with a miniature umbrella in it certainly possesses confidence (which is manly!). Plus, margaritas seem to have brought Jimmy Buffett to a very wise, manly conclusion that while some people claim there’s a woman to blame, he knows it’s his own damn fault. And only a real man knows it’s always his damn fault. (JH)

Best Shot to Get the Job Done
Specialty shots like redheaded sluts, Irish car bombs and B-52s are good clean fun, but a straight shot of liquor will always get you where you want to go better. For local boozehounds looking for a sloppy time, two popular bars are notorious for generous liquor shots. Better yet, they’re just one block away from each other. El Paseo Bar & Grill (208 Galisteo St., 992-2848) is an American and Mexican restaurant during the day and an all-out shitshow (in the best way) at night. There, a shot of tequila ($4.50) chased with a Tecate Cerveza tall boy ($4.25) should be enough to get the night started. Just down the block, the Matador (116 W San Francisco St.) is the perfect gutter-punk hole in the wall to guarantee that your night will end in vomit. A shot of rail whiskey ($4.50) comes in one of the widest and deepest shot glasses in Santa Fe. If you need a chaser, a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer ($3) will do the trick. Repeat if you must, though you probably won’t need to. (JP)

Best girly drink
For those in need of a sugar rush, or at least wanting to feel loopy without experiencing a bitter aftertaste, a few girly drinks stand out in the City Different. The Palace Restaurant & Saloon (142 W Palace Ave., 428-0690) has a peach bellini ($10) perfect for a girls-only happy hour or an old ladies’ brunch. Since it’s made with champagne and peach juice, you will need at least three of them to really feel something. (Be warned, though: If there’s a band coming and you haven’t paid the cover charge, you will be kicked out, no matter how much of their hard-earned cash your friends have invested in celebrating your birthday.) But the prize really has to go to the Rock Star ($8.50) from Coyote Rooftop Cantina (132 W Water St., 983-1615). The cool cats at Coyote took an already-girly Lemon Drop and upped the ante, turning it raspberry-pink and coating the rim of the martini glass in fuchsia pop rocks (remember those?). You can’t help but let out a delighted little giggle every time one of the sugary pop rocks crackles in your mouth—and that’s the epitome of girlishness. (JP)

Best food in a glass
While tempted to nominate the gazpacho-esque Spicy Secreto ($10, cucumber, lime
juice, cane syrup, cachaça, elderflower liqueur) that serves as a calling card for the Hotel St. Francis’ Secreto Bar (210 Don Gaspar Ave., 983-5700)—or perhaps the adorable $3 servings of actual gazpacho that come in a shot glass at Taberna La Boca (125 Lincoln Ave., Ste. 117, 988-7102)—we’re going to have to go with something a little more indulgent: the amazing affogato ($5.95) at our favorite local coffee shop, Ecco Café & Gelato (105 E Marcy St., 986-9778). I mean, what’s better than two scoops of gelato—try coconut sorbet and cinnamon for an interesting combo—smothered, New Mexican-style, in a couple of shots of espresso? You can’t be sad while eating ice cream, and the coffee ensures you won’t descend into a blissfully refreshing food coma once you finish slurping your drink. Starbucks, find a new town to strip-mall-ize. (AS)


Best drink to order to impress your date
No contest: It’s the Samurai ($9): “flaming Saigon cinnamon extinguished with mandarin vodka and blood orange,” served with a silver samurai sword ($40 extra if you want to own the sword). Head downstairs from Coyote Cantina to the upscale Coyote Café or below ground to clubbish The Den (132 W Water St., 983-1615), where owner-mixologist Quinn Stephenson makes an art of concocting exquisite drinks like this one, in which rich, pulpy blood oranges accent the fragrant cinnamon for a sublime sipping experience. If vodka isn’t your thing, the Manhattan sorbet ($16, Fridays and Saturdays only) also makes for an impressive order. Literally whiskey and vermouth turned into sorbet, it requires a smoking bowl of liquid nitrogen and some, well, manly mixology. Cheers! (AS)

Best beer for summer

Let’s be honest here: SFR’s editorial staff generally loathes writing ringing endorsements, and as a result we can’t help but be left with the feeling that we have to take a shower after writing blurbs for the “Best Of” issues. Forgive us, but we’re bred on the old-fashioned concept that journalists aren’t supposed to act as lackeys for proprietors or politicians or peddlers of any idea or commodity. We leave the advertising to the advertisers, write our truths, everything else, including our advertising revenue, be damned. So it’s with general trepidation that we’d like to endorse—in permanent ink to be distributed across town—Santa Fe Brewing Company’s Happy Camper IPA as the best beer for summer. After all a good idea and product should be commended, right? That’s exactly what Happy Camper IPA is. Inside—the product—you’ll find a beer with a bite as distinctive as a lover’s kiss on the neck. Outside—the advertisement—you’ll see a simple Zia design in a yellow backdrop. Why, you ask, is this the best beer for summer? Well, as long as we’re being honest, other than the fact that SFBC Happy Camper is generally a good product for any season, maybe it’s because SFR has been consuming it while writing this blurb. And perhaps SFR has also been thinking about hickeys under the summer sun (while drinking Happy Camper, of course). (JH)

 

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