Wail to the Chief

In honor of this week's presidential election, I thought I'd take a look at what playlists [still] President Obama and Mitt Romney have been using during their respective campaigns and discuss some of the implications thereof.

I read someplace that Romney was using a Silversun Pickups song, but then they asked him to cut it out. This is as close to a coin-toss as we'll get, so we'll start with Obama.

Oh, and I am totally a liberal, so I was gonna start with him anyway. Also, don't take this too seriously, I beg you.

Electric Light Orchestra: "Mr. Blue Sky"
I fully, full-on believe that ELO is one of the most underrated rock 'n' roll bands in the history of music, and I'm glad Obama recognizes this as well. To me, this says that he's a dude who appreciates a good melody and the most American of musical styles—rock and fucking roll. In my head, I picture me 'n' Obama at a barbecue together, and we both freak out when this jam comes on…we're best friends forever after that, and I proudly lift the beer bong for him.

Al Green: "Let's Stay Together"
Who doesn't love this song? Jerks, that's who! I'm afraid I have no official word on whether or not Romney loves this song or not, but since I assume he's a racist, he probably doesn't. I've seen plenty of photos of Obama lovin' on his wife, and, when we couple this song choice with said photos, one can hardly help but wonder how the couple might utilize one of the most famous doin' it jams of all time.

Noah and the Whale: "Tonight's the Kind of Night"
Apparently the hipster vote is important to Obama, and why shouldn't it be? After all, these are the people who were carrying on like he was some sort of Jesus 2.0 leading up to the last election. Maybe he likes these guys and maybe he doesn't, but the point is this: There are probably people who'll vote for him because they're fans as well.

Darius Rucker: "Learn to Live"
C'mon, Obama! Hootie sucked then and he sucks now! To me, this says he either lost a bet or is aiming for the vote of folks with white guilt who never came any closer to having a black friend than buying whatever the hell that Hootie album was called. No, I don't know what the title was and no, I'm not looking it up.

The Killers: "Somebody Told Me"
Just when I thought I couldn't hate this band any more than I do, this happens. I wonder if Brandon Flowers and those other fashion-assholes in his band are laughing all the way to the bank over this one. Can you imagine the old-lady types showing up to some Romney something-or-other, hearing this song and then picking up an album? I can...and it's sickening.

The Beach Boys: "Good Vibrations"
After that crap with Silversun Pickups, what better band to use music from than one with members who are either dead, crazy or too old to do much of anything beyond TiVo-ing that episode of Full House to show their disinterested grandchildren? I love the Beach Boys, and it's been everything I can do to scrub the dirt from my skin knowing that I have something in common with that Romney clown.

Kid Rock: "Born Free"
Know what's not surprising? This. I'm feeling a little better about that Beach Boys thing after learning that Romney likes this bullshit. I haven't even heard this song, and I don't have to, because I can guarantee it's the worst thing ever.

Willie Nelson: "Over the Rainbow"
Does Willie Nelson know this is happening? As one of the finest songwriters of this or any era, this one hurts. Maybe he was too high to say no, or maybe he's too busy braiding his hair. Regardless, this is an affront to Nelson, Judy Garland and that poor dead dog that played Toto.

Santa Fe Reporter