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Home / Articles / Music / Music Features /  Poor Man’s Pitchfork
p 25 A-Sharp
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Bob Schneider at Faux Fest!

Poor Man’s Pitchfork

Behold SFR's first ever Faux Fest

July 11, 2012, 5:00 am

As much as I kind of loathe Pitchfork, I do have to give credit to those clowns for jumping on the summer-festival bandwagon. Hell, if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the likes of Coachella or Sasquatch, it’s that there’s an assload of trust-fund “indie” kids who just aren’t living unless they’re dehydrated in a gorge somewhere.

So I started thinking that there must be plenty of locals who’d love to go to Chicago and see performances by Feist or Purity Ring (please note this band is actually coming here soon) or Ty Segall, but maybe they’re too poor. I know I am.

Not to worry, Santa Fe; we can have our own festival/crawl here, and it is in no way the concert equivalent of when your mom tells you you’re great at sports even though you know full well there are bigger and better-looking kids who can slam dunk and will always, always get the girl.

You’re probably thinking something like, “Alright, hotshot. If you’re so smart, how would you curate a local festival/crawl?” Well, first we need to look up the word “curate” in a dictionary because I’m pretty sure booking several bands is better described as, uh, booking several bands.

Next, we can eliminate all the musicians who perform almost every day; cover bands who act like playing other people’s music somehow makes them talented; and anybody operating under the delusion that the bulk of people going out in this town choose their destination based on anything beyond where they think the cheapest booze/hottest people are available. Or not. Hell, I think I’ve just described pretty much every band around here.

Anyway, since  most local shows can be neatly placed in either the Americana/country or DJ realm, this Faux Fest/crawl is called something like “Bands Your Mom Can Tolerate 2012” or “Business-As-Usual-Fest” or even “Music-to-Eat-Dinner-By-A-Palooza,” and you can check out what I’ve “picked” below.

Friday, July 13
• Country Blues Revue at Second Street Brewery is exactly what you think it is, and it gets you that country fix you so desperately need.
• Head out to the Mineshaft Tavern in Madrid for Open Mic with Shelly, thereby becoming a part of the fest/crawl yourself. Feel free to print your own T-shirts that read, “Bestival Part of this Festival.”
• Salsa Night at The Lodge is where the well-dressed and beautiful older ladies are. Thus, you should be there as well…just go easy on the aftershave, slick.
• You don’t want to miss Nacha Mendez at the Staab House because she rarely plays…wait…scratch that, she plays all the time, but still you should go.

Saturday, July 14
• Be at The Bull Ring for some classical guitar and to find out who the hell is playing it; we’re still calling the artist “some guy” in The Calendar (page 24).
• As hotel bars are a great place to mingle without your wife knowing, Gerry Carthy’s Irish tunes at El Cañon in the Hilton is a must.
• Heath Concerts’ free Railyard series is outside, free and also the closest actual thing to a real-life fest happening today. Austin’s Bob Schneider is playing, and he could probably assimilate himself into our local scene without anyone noticing any kind of change whatsoever.
• Jono Manson at The Cowgirl, because who doesn’t love Jono Manson?
• Close the night at new bar Stats, because you’ve been meaning to get over there and you probably like DJs and sports.

Sunday, July 15
• If there’s a better start to an evening than the show tunes and standards at La Casa Sena, we’ve never heard of it.
• Super Saucy Sunday at The Underground is a great place to kick your boozing into high gear, and DJ Dmonic spins hip-hop to get you in the mood.
• Head across the street to The Matador to hear Ann bust out some of her favorite tunes and to tell bartendress Kate that she’s awesome.

Of course, none of this really occurs under any sort of actual festival umbrella, and I won’t hold it against you if you skip these events for the unofficial after party at Cheeks…I hear they’ve got killer music.

 

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