Lace Up Your Skates
This summer, to be in a room with an ice floor during the sweltering desert temperatures could be enough to make anyone drop to her knees and kiss the frozen water she skates upon.
Cost: Less than $10
Time Commitment: At least an hour, but why would you ever want to leave the frozen haven that is the Genoveva Chavez Community Center skating rink?
Do it with: Anyone you’d like to hold hands with
Make Your Tongue Happy
Ice cream is so 10 minutes ago. Frozen yogurt makes you feel better about piling a bajillion spoonfuls of cookie dough pieces and Fruity Pebbles on top of your dessert.
Cost: Less than $5
Time Commitment: The time it takes you to order, devour and revel in the delectableness
Do it with: The friendly staff at Dedo’s FroYo or the many Pedicab bikers who frequent the place
Eat a Sno Cone
That chilly, tongue-color-changing treat available at, like, every high school football game is also available just off of Cerrillos Road. (Hint: It’s right by Burrito Spot and that sketchy, expensive gas station.)
Cost: Less than $5
Time Commitment: The time to order, eat and wait for your tongue to turn back to its normal color.
Do it with: Your best friend from high school
Pirate Somebody Else’s Air Conditioning
Oh, you’re broke too? So broke your car doesn’t even have air conditioning and you feel like your clothes are going to spontaneously combust? That would be embarrassing since you’re on your clearly way to pick up that cute girl/guy you met ice skating to go get frozen yogurt. (See what we did there?) It’s time to pirate air conditioning like you pirated Game of Thrones last week. Really, any civilized public establishment will have A/C; like any broke human, you’ve learned to adapt in the wild (the wild just being really frickin’ broke). Who are you to pass up the opportunity to be within air that has been dropped to temperatures penguins would love? Go to the mall (don’t take her to the mall, fool); go to the library; use your imagination.
Time Commitment: As long as you want
Do it with: Your homies; yourself; your date; really anyone
To fall asleep in the shade of a tree while reading a book or writing a poem or just loitering is simply sublime. The sweet thing about being in the desert is that there actually is a temperature difference between the shade and the sunshine. Best place for shade: the Rose Park.
Time Commitment: All the livelong day, if you want
Do it with: Your dog
Start a Water fight
You are a ninja-Viking. You wield weapons of moisture. Whether it’s with a plastic pistol, water-filled balloon bomb or a hose (you villain, you) this is the stuff amazing summers are made of.
Cost: $5 for the water gun value pack from the Plaza Five and Dime
Time Commitment: At least an hour
Do it with: Everyone you know (the best way to get them involved is to ambush them)