Maybe you’re a musician and maybe you think you’re one. Here’s a surefire way to find out if you’ve got the right stuff to become a celebrated member of the elite Santa Fe scene. Created while I was waiting for an awesomely secret thing to go down (it didn’t happen but I’ll fill you in soon, I promise), this über-hip and super-convoluted flowchart will provide the proper answers to your many burning questions regarding whether or not you should be out there preforming for strangers in our fair city. Existing musicians: test your mettle! Wannabes: find out if you can navigate such tricky things as choosing a genre, pleasing a crowd and/or the creative process! Oh, and before y’all go writing letters telling me I suck and stuff and that this chart may look really cool, but you don’t agree with it one bit, why don’t you loosen up and take it for what it is: a joke (mostly). In a small artsy-fartsy ecosystem such as ours, it’s important to remember that taking anything too seriously—be it music or art or a scrappy young music writer with nothing left to lose—is seriously crazy. And never forget, my friends, if it ain’t fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Be like, "You suck, Alex!" on twitter