I had this totally sweet dream the other night: Standing in a room surrounded by local musicians, I had the task of forming a superstar band via the same process through which we formed kickball teams in grade school or that hipsters did yesterday. I woke wondering whom I would invite to join my local dream band.

First, I need a great drummer. A band with a subpar drummer borders on criminal negligence, no matter how stellar the rest of the musicians. The head of my rhythm department is Tommy Archuleta, from bands such as Angola Farms and These Charming Cobras. Not only is Archuleta a fantastic musician, but his work as a poet and lyricist would be welcome during songwriting sessions. Archuleta is also punk as hell, which would no doubt lend to our street cred. Finally, he is one of the few drummers out there who manages complex rhythms and beats while simultaneously singing. 

To complete the rhythm section, I need a good bassist—someone who will work well with my drummer, but who won’t be afraid to change things up by trying out strange time signatures, for instance. For the position, I hereby choose Brian Mayhall. Mayhall is one-third of beloved local experimental rock/electronic act D Numbers, and his bass work on the song “Xylem Up” tells me all I need to know. A talented and multifaceted DJ, Mayhall also would bring the wide world of electronics and sampling to our wünderband—an absolute must in this workaday world.

For my electric guitar player, Mikey Baker is the obvious choice. The guy is a local institution, from his funky and soulful riffage with The Gluey Brothers to his shred-tastic antics with Kiss cover band Love Gun. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing some of the most jaw-dropping solos (local or otherwise) at the hands of this studied and talented fellow. Homeboy has the connections, so booking a tour would probably be a snap. Plus, Baker looks awesome all dolled up in makeup and skin-tight pants…real awesome.

At this point, I need a dedicated singer, because no matter how many times my girlfriend tells me I’m great, I can’t shake the feeling that better vocalists exist out there. The band needs someone who can sing and scream well. This is my dream band, so of course it will have hardcore and metal aspects. For frontman, I name Andy Primm. Primm is a multi-instrumentalist, whose résumé (Curry, Springer & Primm, Deus Crepitus, Love Gun and more) suggests he’ll bring variety. He excels musically while not taking the whole thing too damn seriously. Furthermore, Primm is sexy as hell (and I’m straight, so just imagine what he’d do for the ladies).

Finally, I’d need to assign myself. Truthfully, after looking over my incredible roster of bandmates, I would probably place myself in the musical equivalent of equipment manager. I’ve seen all of these fine musicians at work countless times and, sadly, I would just embarrass myself were I to attempt any sort of meaningful contribution. Although, as an added bonus, I did just assemble a who’s who of bitchin’ rock masters, and in the end, isn’t that the greatest gift of all? You’re welcome, Santa Fe.

What would your local dream band look like? Tweet #sfdreamband.

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