“I can’t believe no one here is in charge of magazines! It’s easier to find porn in Santa Fe than it is to find TV Guide!”
—Angry man to clerk in Hastings.

“Please don’t grow up to be obnoxious teenagers.”
—Father to toddlers at Gumball 3000 on Lincoln Avenue, as they passed by a group of obnoxious teenagers.

One woman to another: “Julia Child always said that you should replace the brine in capers with vermouth to improve the flavor.”
Second woman: “That drunk bitch!”
—Overheard at A La Mesa.