1
Swine flu now known as H1N1 flu.
Which just isn’t as funny.

2
State health secretary advises people to cough into their arms to avoid spreading flu.
That’s why he gets paid the big bucks.

3
Los Alamos National Laboratory advises washing hands to avoid spreading flu.
It took five rocket scientists to come up with that advice.

4
Schools in the southern part of the state closed due to swine flu.
When they reconvene, they plan to teach students how to wash their hands and cough into their arms.

5
Dennis Hopper named honorary mayor of Taos.
First duty: Evict Donald Rumsfeld.

6
Gov. Bill Richardson and other officials move to clamp down on state investment policies.
They’ve also ordered all barn doors in New Mexico shut.

7
County says dirt it’s moving to the Southside isn’t contaminated.
We’ll believe it when they eat it.