A spring cleaning checklist.
Are you one of those people who is allergic to dust, so you never clean because it kicks up all that dust, which makes you sneeze and cough and wheeze? Do you clean your bathroom on a semiannual basis? If you drop a slice of banana on the kitchen floor, does it get lost in the mix? Then you might be a total slob!
But even if your whole family spends four hours cleaning house after church every Sunday, that doesn't exempt you from an annual spring cleaning. This is when you tackle all the major grime issues that you're then allowed to ignore for the rest of the year. In
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ancient Persia, every family performed a top-to-bottom, whole-house cleaning before Noruz, the celebration of the New Year, which begins in spring. Your grandma probably got down on her hands and knees and scrubbed her kitchen floor with a rag, for Pete's sake! The least you can do is vacuum your miniblinds.
Here's a little checklist to help you get started. Remember: Wear gloves to protect your hands, open the windows to provide ventilation and never, ever mix chemicals.
• Sooner or later, you've got to do something about all those charred pizza chunks stuck to the bottom of your oven. If your oven has a self-clean setting, follow the manufacturer's directions for self-cleaning. Otherwise, use oven cleaner and follow the directions on the bottle, or simply scrub the interior with a paste made with baking soda, water and a drop of dish soap.
• Remove hard water deposits from the dishwasher by running it, empty and with no detergent, just up to the main cycle. Then stop the machine and add 1 cup of vinegar or ½ cup CLR
(or another calcium and lime remover) and allow the machine to continue. Run it once more, empty and with no detergent, to rinse.
• Devote some serious elbow grease to the stovetop and grates.
If they're really grimy, use a stainless steel scrubbing pad (like the no-rust Chore Boy) on stainless steel surfaces, or a plastic scouring pad on enameled surfaces.
• Scrub all the crud from the interior of the microwave and shine up the exterior with glass cleaner, or a mixture of white vinegar and water.
• Clean out the fridge. Throw away anything with an expired best-by date, and chuck any condiments if you honestly can't remember the last time you used them. Do the same thing in
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the freezer. Use a soft cloth and warm, soapy water to wash out the inside of the fridge. Make sure you get all that icky green stuff from the door's gasket as well.
• Vacuum all the dust bunnies from your refrigerator's condenser coils. (Look for them under the fridge, behind the kick plate.) Your fridge will run less and use less energy.
• If you're feeling ambitious, clean out your cabinets. Throw away outdated food, wipe down the shelves and put down new shelf paper.
• Go ahead and splurge on a new toilet brush. Then use it.
• Throw out that moldy old plastic shower curtain/liner and invest in a cloth curtain. Cloth works just as well, resists mold and can be thrown in the washing machine.
• Scrub the hell out of your tub/shower, using a stiff, plastic-bristled brush. Pay special attention to the dark and mossy corners where something appears to be growing/dying. If you have white tile and (formerly) white grout, you can pour a capful of bleach into a spray bottle full of water and spritz the moldy areas. Wait 15 minutes and rinse thoroughly.
• Tackle hard water deposits on your shower door with a plastic scrub brush and white vinegar or CLR.
• Get rid of expired and unused prescription drugs, but don't flush them! The US Environmental Protection Agency recommends disposing of prescription drugs by emptying pill bottles into a coffee can full of used coffee grounds or kitty litter, then throwing the can in the trash.
• Flip the mattress and wash or dry-clean your mattress cover, sheets, pillow covers, dust ruffle, comforter and pillow shams.
• Move most of your winter clothes and shoes into storage. Sort through your spring and summer clothes and give any unwanted items to friends or charity.
• Throw away the toys and lingerie you wore with your ex unless they can be safely (and emotionally) sanitized. Buy yourself some new bras, socks and underwear. Seriously. Have you looked at your socks lately?
• Check the fire detectors and fire extinguishers. If necessary, replace batteries or buy new extinguishers.
• Vacuum the baseboards, windowsills and heating/cooling vents.
• Wash the heat registers, vent covers and ceiling fan blades with warm, soapy water.
• Avoid a major fire hazard by delinting your dryer. Use your vacuum cleaner's crevice attachment to suck up as much lint as possible or, better yet, spent $20 on a dryer-cleaning kit (
).
• Wash or dry-clean your curtains, slipcovers and pet beds. While you're at it, vacuum under the couch cushions (or bribe the kids to do it by telling them they can keep all the change they find).
• Vacuum the dust from wood or metal miniblinds; super-filthy metal blinds can be washed in a bathtub full of warm, soapy water.
• Steam clean carpets if they're really dirty or if you have pets.
• Toss the 17 issues of the New Yorker that are littering your coffee table into the recycling bin. If you haven't read them yet, you never will.
Santa Fe Reporter