7 Days

01.25.17

1

DE VARGAS MOVIE THEATER CLOSED

Which explains why that one screen had Scotch tape on it for the last decade.

2

FORMER NM CONGRESSWOMAN HEATHER WILSON TO HEAD AIR FORCE

And it's not just planes anymore. We're talking space war strategy, too.

3

MEANWHILE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE YOU KNOW MARCHED IN SANTA FE (AND EVERYWHERE ELSE) LAST WEEKEND

And that ain't alternative facts, baby—that's just awesome!

4

IN FIRST 'PRESSER,' SEAN SPICER TELLS FOUR LIES TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC

Pretty ballsy for a team that shouts "Fake news!" at everyone.

5

LEGISLATIVE SESSION KICKS OFF WITH BUDGET TINKERING BONANZA

Fingers crossed.

6

CARLSBAD CITY COUNCILOR JR DOPORTO POSTS INTENSELY MISOGYNISTIC COMMENTS ON HIS PERSONAL FACEBOOK PAGE FOLLOWING LAST SATURDAY'S WOMEN'S MARCH

Boo! Slime! Filth! Muck! Rubbish! Booooo!

7

A GRIZZLY BEAR WANDERED INTO THE SFR OFFICE, CAUSING US TO CURSE OUR GLARING LACK OF GUNS

Just kidding, that's not a thing even at all.

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