The Fork

Did you ever love pie so much you thought your heart was gonna break in two? Ugh. For some reason I now cannot recall (exhaustion? In-laws in town? Too many parties?) I bought a box of refrigerated Pillsbury pie crusts a few months ago. I have a vague memory of this being a good and convenient thing at some point in the total blur that is the days between Thanksgiving and now. But we had more family in town last week, folks who had been out of the country for the holidays, so I decided on the spur of the moment to make them a little holiday dinner: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans ... and an apple pie. And I reached for the last two of those (by now) frozen pie crusts. Sigh. Long story short: OMFG, were these things totally disgusting the whole time? Was I completely drunk through all of Thanksgiving and Christmas? (MAYBE.) How did I not notice this?

The family didn't eat all of the apple pie so of course I've been eating it for breakfast the past few days. What torture! I have pie in the house, but the crust is TERRIBLE.

Look at this pumpkin pie I made for a holiday party in early December: Apparently I did not eat one single piece of it. It looks fantastic, but I can tell this is that frozen crust. And it tastes like wallpaper paste. Don't do the bad, bad thing I did.

Do go watch that Chris Issac video and then tell me this: Why is he dressed like The Jesus from The Big Lebowski? Anyway, Chris Isaak, right? ROWR.

Go make a real pie with a real crust you made yourself. Life is too short to eat shitty crust.

Santa Fe Reporter