Spastic Plastic

Those noxious BPAs and the toxic fumes. Plastic, you vicious evil meanie-poo! We hate you! For fashion and accessories, though? It’s super fantastic! Flashback to Belgium 1909. Slow zoom into chemist Leo Baekeland munching on creamy chocolates while concocting the first purely synthetic plastic.

Hallelujah! Bakelite was born!

By the 1920s, bakelite bangles were de rigueur. Now cut to 2016—perhaps the year of plastic?

One of my all-time favorite artists and accessory designers is Ineke Otte of the Netherlands, who fashions the most gloriously weird and original jewelry all out of plastic. Lobsters, rats, goldfish, mussels, moss, seaweed, bananas, broccoli, windmills! And 94-years-young style icon Iris Apfel rocks the mussel necklace with sparkling panache.

For 2016 Spring/Summer (SS), luxury Spanish brand Loewe has created crystal-clear, see-thru pants. Genius? YES! Comfy? I think not. Would you wear 'em strolling thru Whole Foods? I would, but that's why they call me "Shamey Amy."

Even in the olden times at London Fashion Week 2015, Christopher Kane made a choker out of plastic rainbow-colored cable ties and said, "They made me think of restraint and madness."

Plastic = Insanity? Cue up 1982 doc Koyaanisqatsi.

2016 SS Moschino has a super cutie pie plastic "Slippery When Wet" dress. From a brilliantly cut Louis Vuitton frothy and foamy confection of a mini-frock to an Anya Hindmarch bag to Prada ... yadda yadda—there is mucho off-gassing on the runways!

In 1946, French line Sun Jellies created the ubiquitous jelly shoe (yeah, they were the first, not you Jelly Bean of the bitchin' '80s. Sorry).

A leather shortage in France was indeed the catalyst for these plastic-fantastique bags and shoes. Limitations can birth brilliance in art, food and design.

Grab some Sun Jellies and dance a wee jig why doncha! They cost about the same as three lattes.

On the eco, save-the-world tip, Adidas has collaborated with ocean awareness partner Parley and has unveiled a sneaker made entirely of recycled ocean plastics. They dropped in June 2016 and are waaay limited edition; let the Googling begin!

On home soil, Poppy and the Golden Fleece by local talent Jennabel Pichnarík has been cooking up some rad plastic brooches that would make Judy Jetson swoon. Her medium is entirely plastic earth. You know, the stuff of the Meow Wolf melodious and phosphorescent shrooms. She counts Elsa Schiaparelli as one of her biggest inspirations. Couple that with a 1960s nod to Mod dipped in a 1940s palette, and we have a postmodern fiesta of fabulosity!

Each and every piece is one-of-a-kind couture and made by hand, and they can only be obtained from the creator herself via lacerags.bandit@gmail.com. Next I'll talk about how chemtrails are actually the most incredible moisturizer.

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