Click Your Heels

Don't drive drunk. Simple.

We all know those people who have either driven when they were way too drunk to even like, stand, or worse—the people who seem to think that it’s some sort of special skill or kind of funny to drive drunk. First off, it’s not. At all. Setting aside the murder potential for a moment, we live in a state that puts the bulk of the blame on wherever these clowns were drinking last and/or whoever served them last. This is especially lame, because most of us can easily play it sober long enough to get a drink we shouldn’t be served, and a bartender or server should absolutely not have to be trained in the Sherlock Holmes-ian techniques of subtle human behavioral shifts.

Secondly, it's not like it's particularly hard to get home safely without endangering innocent peoples' lives in Santa Fe. I mean, you can practically walk across the entire town in an hour and a half, and it's not like there aren't cabs or Uber, or your loser friend who thinks he's some kind of champion because he doesn't drink so much anymore and looks down his nose at your parties … in other words, don't be a jerk, and think about getting home safe. Like so:

Call a Cab!

People seem to have plenty of reasons for driving drunk, but the most prevalent anti-cab sentiments we've heard are about the long wait times. We get it, it's 2 in the morning, and you just want to be in your bed, and the weekends seem to bring out more drinkers than usual, but is waiting a little while really worse than killing someone?

"There's definitely an increase in business Friday and Saturday from 5:30 [pm] to 2:30 am," Capital City Cab driver Case Tanner says. "Generally, with the exception of off-nights, where we might be busier than expected, like a holiday, I can't stress enough that we always purposefully staff accordingly during those [busy] times."

Maybe drunk time exists in a vacuum or something, but you should probably just wait; how bad is it really? Not only that, but the city subsidizes Friday and Saturday cab service, which means up to two people only pay five bucks, and three or more only pay 10, so long as you're getting picked up from a bar or restaurant. That's not even mentioning the $1 cab rides on select holidays (like Cinco de Mayo and Fiestas).

Capital City Cab: 438-0000

Get an Uber!

"I haven't driven after more than two drinks since the moment those apps came around," musician Zach Leyba tells SFR.

Because, y'know, it's easy and affordable and much safer than driving. Plus, you can see where they are on your phone's GPS and not have to stand around in the cold, and then, best of all, nobody has to die because you got on the freeway going the wrong way.

Uber.com


Use a DD!

Even though it is painfully clear that most people around here simply cannot enjoy themselves without a drink in their hand, there are still those who either don't drink or do and are willing to be a pal, like local artist Kit Evans.

"I think you can still have a damn social life and not drink," Evans says. "I'm down to do it; if it's my turn to drive, so be it. … I drink or I drive, it's that simple."

Evans, who used to drive a cab and has dealt with more than his fair share of drunks, thinks that people fall victim to flawed thinking.

"Honestly, I think some people are just flat-out dumb," he says. "They think they're invincible or something, like it's not going happen to them, or they're confident they can fade and get home or talk their way through a potential DUI."

Musician Pablo Paz says he alternates driving responsibilities with his girlfriend when they go out.

"It's about holding each other accountable," Paz says.

You probably have your friends' phone numbers.

Don’t Be a Dick!

Think long and hard about how you'd feel if you were to kill a carload of kids or a family. Students at Central Community College in Albuquerque recently put together an anti-DWI ad campaign featuring Dick. And we agree: Don't be a Dick. Think about how your own family and friends would feel if you killed yourself. Next time you're standing on a curb someplace, trying to choose, choose wisely. Everyone will thank you, we promise.

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