The CGI animated film has practically become old hat at this point, with countless productions from Pixar, DreamWorks, Fox, etc. over the years and no shortage of vehicles looming on the horizon. No one is complaining per se, but it does become harder to tell them apart or even care after the bazillionth movie that looks into the unseen lives of animals or sickeningly cute children or yet another anthropomorphized paean to genres that kids these days (oh, kids these days) surely know nothing about. Case in point: Kung Fu Panda 3, another unnecessary installment in the long-running tale of Po (voice of Jack Black), a silly man-child of a panda who was orphaned as a cub and left to believe he's the last of his kind before learning that, despite his inability to grow up, he was actually the fabled dragon warrior all along—a kung fu master prophesied to be the great protector of the people.
When last we heard from Po and his pals, they'd defeated the vile peacock Shen, and everything was gonna be great forever. Not so, because while everyone was busy celebrating and eating dumplings and being best friends, some seriously crazy business was going down in the spirit world. Turns out that Master Oogway, who's a turtle and the guy who told Po he was the dragon warrior, has been locked in a 500-year battle with a former comrade named Kai (JK Simmons) who is, like, a wildebeest or something. Kai's been stealing the chi of all the spirit world's kung fu masters and is hell-bent on returning to the mortal world to … hmmmm. Actually, it's pretty unclear beyond he just wants to get back to the mortal world and eff up everyone's lives because he's evil and stuff. This just happens to coincide with Po's father (Bryan Cranston, who nails it) turning up and the revelation that pandas aren't extinct after all. Mild jokes and action ensues, and exactly what you think might happen does happen. Hooray.
Yes, Kung Fu Panda 3 is aimed at kids, but even the bits included for their parents might not matter much to anyone who isn't at least a little familiar with kung fu flick production companies like Golden Harvest or Shaw Brothers. Not only that, but much of the humor is tired and reused from previous iterations in the series, and the bones of the story are so average and uninspired that even children might feel as if they're being underestimated. Even worse is to have a stellar cast of voices from David Cross, Lucy Liu and Dustin Hoffman to James Hong and Jackie Chan, and to use them all so sparingly.
Po's antics grow tiresome the more we follow them—even for kids, believe me—and the background players have zero presence or point beyond the advancement of Po's journey. For example, Kate Hudson (who seems to be trying her best to emulate Amy Schumer), as the ribbon-dancing Mei Mei, is so boring and pointless that had the character not existed, it wouldn't have mattered at all. Of course, the entire film is rendered so beautifully and in such stunning detail that its shortcomings are basically canceled out in a haze of lovingly crafted kung fu glory, and we're left with a perfectly fine way to kill 90-ish minutes. Take your kids, I guess, but don't expect anything you haven't already seen about a 1000 times by now.
Kung Fu Panda 3
With Black, Simmons, Hudson and Chan
Violet Crown, Regal
PG,
95 min.
Santa Fe Reporter