Sacred Cow BBQ

Summer is in full swing, and SFR's Best of Santa Fe issue is in your hands. Lucky you! But throughout the celebration of our city's best and brightest are the people, places and things that seem to enjoy a certain level of untouchable reverence. Well, no more, nerds.

We're talking people like the folks down at Hutton Broadcasting, where an unnamed employee of the local radio conglomerate apparently threw out all their copies of a recent issue of SFR because of a cover story that featured a new low-power FM radio station being run out of Madrid. Word is this employee considered it a matter of competition, but we thought we'd let them know that LPFM radio stations reach, like, 13 miles tops, so what the hell?

Or how about places like the Cowgirl BBQ Hall of Fame, where you're sure to have at least one thing from your order screwed up to the soundtrack of old white people acting like the world owes them a living because they learned a few covers between writing songs about trains or mesas or broken hearts.

Across the street in the Railyard, you'll find the new Violet Crown Cinema, where even the massively excellent beers-on-tap list won't take the sting out of paying 10 bucks for the kind of pizza you could only find elsewhere when you're sliding it out of the freezer and into your oven. You'll also find Second Street Brewery and the bimonthly Open Mic with Ben Wright…y'know, unless he's busy playing with every single fucking band in this entire town. If that doesn't work for you, the folks at AMP Concerts will probably host a movie your kids will love or a concert your mom has been dying to see somewhere in the park or Plaza, but God help you if you're under 40 and over 13. It might have something to do with promoter Jamie Lenfestey's man bun having grown roots into his brain to create a "the bun controls me now!" situation, or maybe it's because every time they try to do something even slightly different, the young people in town avoid it like the plague.

But then, maybe downtown is over for you, and you're more interested in the increasingly popular Siler Road Arts District (is that an official title for the area yet?). And why wouldn't you be? After all, you can get in on a High Mayhem event, as they make nonsensical and mind-numbingly irritating sounds while calling it music. Or maybe you just want to enjoy Duel Brewing's many, many beers, which all taste exactly the same. You could join the sea of college kids at Ghost, who clearly invented the idea of music and warehouse shows, or pop in on the new Meow Wolf project in the old bowling alley. Their last major installation was about a ship that existed outside the confines of time and space, and their exciting new direction features a Victorian-era house that exists outside the confines of time and space. Clearly they're evolving beyond the days when trash piled in the shape of things was the order of the day, and kudos for the fresh and new artistic challenge they've created for our cultured citizens. If you're more into the aforementioned warehouse shows, the Cave will be there for you, hosting metal band Yar seven nights a week. You could always pop in next door at Radical Abacus, where crowds stand around pretending they love poorly played music from no-name touring acts, because that means they're out there living a full, exciting life.

If that's not far enough, you can head out to Sol Santa Fe Stage & Grill to check a show. Y'know, so long as the owner/operators don't actually cancel the thing while it's still going on, leaving ticket-holders feeling like they totally should have just stayed in and watched Netflix.

If it's all too confusing or you need extra help, you can always email music@sfreporter.com. I'll be the wildly average writer who somehow weaseled my way into a job in journalism just so I could take out unresolved feelings that arose from a failed stab at music over a decade ago on anyone who so much as picks up a guitar.

Santa Fe Reporter