I had to make a quick stop at CVS on Cordova the other day. No big deal...I was just grabbing some beer and some ice cream. So I'm standing in line waiting for like, 200 years waiting for the cashier to get her shit together with the guy in front of me.

He's buying peanuts or something. He tells her that they're two for one, but she doesn't believe him. She leaves the counter, and goes all the way out into the store to double check. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but it takes her probably 5 minutes before she returns having learned that they are indeed 2 two for one. If people are going to steal, would they waste it on a fucking jar of peanuts? Probably not.

So he finally pays for the nuts, but her drawer is out of one dollar bills. Fuck. Another five minutes (not kidding) go by while we me and the guy wait for the manager-who is making Methusalah look like a spring chicken-to come over with the money.

"Oh, Juanita," He says. "You're out of all kinds of money. Let me see what you need."

He takes some larger bills and disappears.

Three more minutes pass.

Finally, he returns with the rest of the cash. My ice cream is all but melted, my beers are now warm. The man gets his change finally.

13 minutes later, it's my turn. She rings me up, and then says, "Oh, I just ran out of ones again."

No. Fucking. Way.

My change was like, four bucks...so I tell her that I will give her a dollar in quarters, and she can just give me a five.

"That's not the right math." She tells me.

"The hell it's not." I say. "You guys at CVS have a real problem getting it together, don't you?"

"Well if you don't like it, don't come back!" She tells me.

"Fine. I never will for the rest of my life, and I will tell everyone I know what an awful business you are."

"See if I care." She tells me.