What happens when a venerable college with a long-standing religious tradition loses all its money in an attempt at mainstream secular education?

Well, there's always turning back to God. Or at least something kind of like what some people think is God.

It was touching for some and absurd for others when a member of the Christian Brothers--the founders of the now-troubled College of Santa Fe--sent out an email saying that the school's troubles might be steadied through prayer. But no matter one's belief in the power of prayer, it was the right sentiment from the right person.

Now, however, the college is truly getting religion, presumably in exchange for cash.

"Cracking the Prophecy Code," a seminar in bible prophesy kicks of at 7 pm on Friday April 17. It will take place in The Forum, the same hall in which SFR was scheduled to co-present writer Rebecca Solnit on April 8, before the college suspended all of its public programming in an effort to save money (assuming the goal wasn't to alienate itself from the community, which has been the effect). Instead of the environmental and political issues that Solnit would likely have tackled, issues with a different slant will be discussed in hallowed halls of education:

The Mark of the Beast, Part 1:

Think you know what the mark of the beast is? Think again.

Prophecy's Countdown:

A prophetic time bomb is counting down. When does it strike 0?

Prophecy's Super Powers:

Begin to learn the major players in the final events and the roles they play in the end time with the antichrist.

If seminar topics like that aren't intellectually stimulating enough for you, how about checking out

Satan's Secret Strategy


God's Great Judgment


Death's Mystery Solved


Perhaps ace school administrator's were fooled by the scholastic sounding presenter of the seminar,

. Sounds chock full of educational value, but it turns out to be a thriving bible-based business run by radio "crock" jock Doug Batchelor. Not only does he look great in his "multimedia" headphones, but he offers such helpful pamphlets as

The Most Trustworthy Christian Products


What About The Hebrews?

and, my favorite,

How Much Sin is Acceptable?

Of course Batchelor and his ministerial minions--in this case a dude named Emanual Baek--espouse the usual fundamentalist dreck that Santa Fe has little tolerance for. Basically, they're against gay marriage and homosexuals and in favor of people spending all their time buying their products while they wait around to inherit the Kingdom of God.

Hey, more power to Amazing Facts for a clear-eyed view of its own apocalyptic capitalist philosophy, but shame, deep and everlasting shame, upon the College of Santa Fe administrators who agreed to host such an event.