Smut Spores? On March 23, US Rep. Ben Ray Luján, D-NM, became a man. Well, OK, he'd been a man for a while, but it is something akin to coming-of-age when a politician receives his first suspicious package.

In this case, it was an envelope delivered to the freshman congressman's Farmington office. Luján wasn't there at the time, but his press secretary zipped out a statement from Luján, assuring his Four Corners constituents that his office would remain open.

FBI sources now inform SFR the letter did not contain a death threat but, rather, a long, disorganized rant on federal spending, bailouts and other Obamonomic policies. Nor was the substance inside the envelope an infectious disease. According to the same FBI sources, the lab identified the brown powder as "smut spores," harmless to humans but perhaps a kind of biological warfare if you're made of grass.

Tea Baggin': At first, the FBI thought the brown substance in the Luján letter was iced tea mix, a regular prank from the "Tea Party" movement.

Haven't heard of it? Well, it dates back to a fateful night on the Boston Harbor in 1773…Oh, just go plug Boston Tea Party into Wikipedia yourself if you need to understand the homage.

Across the country, conservative groups have been gearing up for April 15, tax day, when they're planning massive direct action to show the government it can't spend taxpayer money without proper representation. We'll assume the folks behind the Santa Fe Tax Day Tea Party Rally had nothing to do with the faux-terrorism.

From 5-6:30 pm on April 15, the Tea Partiers will take over the Plaza to make their case. Despite scheduled speeches from former governor Gary Johnson and former state Sen. John Grubesic, the organizers promise this will be an event for the whole family. There will be face painting. For more information:

Increase Your Bus: A year or so ago, the Human Services Department moved its Santa Fe Income Support Division (where one applies for food stamps, financial assistance and Medicaid) from within the city to way, way down Cerrillos Road near the outlet malls.

According to HSD spokeswoman Betina McCracken, Santa Fe's property prices just pushed them out of the city.

A new bus route—No. 22—will leave from Santa Fe Place to the HSD/ISD every hour, starting Thursday, April 9.

The bus will also swing by Santa Fe Community College and the Institute of American Indian Arts.

The City Council will need to officially approve the new route at its April 29 meeting.