Wed/14: Open Mic at El Paseo

El Paseo is sometimes dismissed as a sort of fratboy bar, but this is not so. Get your name out there musically at their weekly open mic while slaying any number of bitchin’ drinks courtesy of mega-pregnant, mega-babe Leahi Mayfield. As an added bonus, the new SFR is out today, so you can read this very column while you’re waiting to show off your hidden talents.

Thu/15: Church of Feathericci at Rouge Cat

Unburden thyself as the reverend Feathericci spins only the best in deep house and techno. With something like 147 years of events under his belt, Feath never disappoints and is also somehow the nicest man in local showbiz. Rouge Cat has been killing it lately, and this is one night that deserves your undivided attention.

Fri/16: Happy Hour with Melissa Klein at Sweetwater Harvest Kitchen

I may not know who Melissa Klein is yet, but I’m going to help her out for two reasons: First of all, homegirl plays original, banjo-based folk songs, and that sounds awesome. Second, it sounds like she might be new to the scene, and you’re all going to do exactly as I say and be nice to her…otherwise, you’ll forever be labeled as “music racists” on my list of reasons to never make friends.

Sat/17: Boris & the Saltlicks at Second Street (Railyard)

Don’t act like you don’t love beer. And don’t act like you don’t love Boris. Seriously, if Holland is all over this shit, then you know it must be pretty great (stoners only love amazing music, right?). Mr. McCutcheon lays down country-esque, soulful Americana tunes that basically outpace everything else around here, and Second Street brews up some of the finest beer you’ll ever taste.

Sun/18: Doug Montgomery at Vanessie

When most of us who aren’t in our 60s yet hear a sentence like, “He’s a jazz pianist who plays in an upscale restaurant!” we automatically write it off as a grandma-fest. This is not wise, as Montgomery is just about as energetic and talented as any local rock performer you can name. I

mean, he ain’t Elton John, but if you’re in the mood for some nice wine, a relaxed setting and some mind-blowing piano, this is how you do it.

Mon/19: Rossini's La Donna del Lago at the Santa Fe Opera

If you read my column “An Aria of Tweets” [music, July 24, 2012], then you know three things are true:

1. The Santa Fe Opera is an incredible and beautiful venue.

2. Opera is so much cooler than you probably think it is (unless you already like it, in which case you can disregard that statement).

3. People don’t like it when you tweet at the opera.

So whether or not you plan on live-tweeting Rossini’s 1819 tale of this, uh, lady who is, um, pretty into lakes (please don’t write me letters; I’m aware it’s more complex than that), you can bet you’ll have a lovely evening. Head up early and check out the over-the-top tailgate action…you won’t be sorry.

Tue/20: Argentine Tango Milonga at El Mesón

Even though an entire sub-scene of tango fanatics will call for your blood should you attempt any sort of flash photography, I’m going to bury the hatchet with El Mesón’s tango dancers by suggesting y’all try out this event. It might be that I have fond memories of misplaced sexual energy from briefly dating a phenomenal tango dancer in my early 20s, or it might just be that any event during which women hang all over you despite any resemblance you may have to the common forest troll, but the point is this: there are worse ways to spend a Tuesday evening.