This week's news cycle sang the sad song of Lonesome George, the 100-year-old Galápagos tortoise who can't find a mate since he's the last of his species (due to overfeeding, he wasn't very lusty with substitute turtles either). If you thought turtles' situations—from from poaching to pollution—couldn't get any worse, check out this week's Eyedropper.---

Turtles have nowhere to go and no one with whom to go there.