Let's start off the new year right by making fun of a place besides Santa Fe. For this week's Eyedropper, we've chosen, from our trip home, a very specific place in the epistemological world: New York 7-Elevens.---

In order to maintain their good health, 7-Eleven patrons follow the tried-and-true wisdom of mid-century doctors everywhere. Yes, that's right: The slogan "an apple a day" is written on this iced apple danish. Viva las diabetes!

And in case your eyes are failing despite all the carrot cake you consumed, 7-Eleven has got you covered by prohibiting reading´┐Żor not. We're not really sure why "No Reading" is in quotes. What is it that 7-Eleven patrons are pretending to be reading in order to do?