For next week's Eyedropper, please be on the lookout for Santa Claus—take this in whatever way you wish. Send

images to copyeditor@sfreporter.com with the subject "Eyedropper."

As for this week: I'm sure it's not just Santa Fe. I'm sure in places all over the country an abundance of disposable income leads to questionable pursuits and purchases. This week we'll take a look at bottled water with mantras and dog astrology—we might even throw in an image of a starved child in a developing nation for perspective.

In case everyone had already realized that

,

has come up with a new reason for you to destroy the environment: "energy enhanced natural spring water." According to Aquamantra's website, that means "water that resonates with the energy and frequency of your well-being" with mantras such as "I am healthy" or "I am loved" beaming across the front, for just $2.19 a pop! For a cheaper alternative, simply state "I am healthy" while drinking from a public fountain.

Then there's dog astrology. The Eyedropper has heard of this phenomenon before but is no less credulous on seeing a free magazine at the supermarket checkout promoting this pursuit. There are no words...except these, derived from my last week's horoscope: "You will also be asked to dig deeper to discover your real desires, which up until now have been partially camouflaged by more superficial longings that were grafted onto you during the darker days of adolescence." Spoiler alert: It's a bone.

Oh yeah, and the Zen.