In case there weren't enough harrowing experiences to be encountered on, say, one's bike or Cerrillos Road or both, the Santa Fe Place mall now features a hurricane simulator with

78 mph winds, more fun than a Glenn Beck Christmas Pageant**. After waiting 45 minutes for someone to step into the booth, the Eyedropper gave up and took this photo of the empty simulator. I would have tested it out myself, but was at the mall so, naturally, was  dressed to the nines and didn't want my pretty brushed hair to get mussed up. I was also too busy eating free samples and didn't have the $2 entry fee.

**Dear patrons of UA DeVargas, no one likes Glenn Beck. However, the Eyedropper would like you to withhold your booing during his Christmas Pageant commercial so I can figure out what the hell it is. All I can tell is that he's on stage crying with Christmas themed stuff around and says something about a Christmas sweater.

Update: A quick Google search reveals that Beck's "A Christmas Sweater," essentially "

," opened to "less than stellar reviews." No shit.