A Year in Eavesdroppers

"When artists put animal heads on people it just creeps me out!"
—Overheard in a Canyon Road gallery, Dec. 6

"I'm in Santa Fe to work some stuff out. Also for a comprehensive cleanse of my aura, spirit and intestines. Fortunately I found this place here in the boonies where I could order big juicy cheeseburger."
—Overheard at Harry's Roadhouse, Nov. 15

(There is a man in a full cowboy getup—hat, Western shirt, boots, Wranglers)
Woman: You workin' on a ranch?
Man: No, ma'am. I work at a brewery.
—Overheard at the Mine Shaft Tavern, Nov. 8

"I've finally learned that my ego is not my amigo."
—Overheard at the Education Department's hearing on science standards, Oct. 18

"I drink Coors Light. Only out of a bottle though. It feels too ghetto out of a can."
—Overheard at Food King, Oct. 4

Woman 1: Meditation is my drug of choice.
Woman 2: Yeah, I gotta get into that. I'm tired of spending all my money on mushrooms and weed.
—Overheard at Yoga Source, Sept. 26

"Who is that guy with the white hair?"
"You are going to have to be more specific."
—Overheard at Santa Fe High School Class of 1977's 40th Reunion, Sept. 5

"Let's stop. We just need to find a driver."
—Overheard on the Plaza at Indian Market, Aug. 29

"The kids are back, so I had to put the bong away."
—Overheard at a dinner party, Aug. 16

"This is kind of like Coney Island …"
—Overheard at SFR's Best of Santa Fe party, Aug. 2

"I just went through the most horrible divorce, and I'm not even married."
—Overheard at the Federal Place Post Office, July 19

"We're not going to that part of Santa Fe. You have to pay for parking."
—Overheard in Las Vegas, New Mexico, July 26

Guy: "I really want to get a Santa Fe thing."
Girl: "What kind?"
Guy: "Just, like, a Santa Fe thing to put on my desk or something."
—Overheard in Sena Plaza, June 14

"Just back up until you hit the other car."
—Overheard while parallel parking at the original Second Street Brewery, June 21

"I miss Rouge Cat. It was the one place I could go and have dudes buy me drinks. I feel like it was karma for all the times I bought women drinks and it didn't go anywhere."
—Overheard at HQ Santa Fe, May 31

Guy: The problem with much of feminist art is that it is not empowerment-centered but complaint-centered.
Girl: Yeah, that painting seriously needs some cock.
—Overheard at the CCA's opening reception for Cryin' Out Loud, May 5

"I've never seen that many tortillas in one place in my life."
—Overheard at Walmart, April 5

"… No—the power grid, not the global energy grid of human consciousness."
—Overheard at Dinner for Two, March 22

"Hey John, do we have any more of the Trump toilet paper?"
—Overheard at Doodlet's, March 1

"How's the little one?
"She's good. She's increasingly angry and radicalized."
—Overheard at a workshop at UNM, Feb. 22

"Dolores, Martita and Jeanette, please report to the Senate chambers."
—Overheard at the Roundhouse, Feb. 8

"If we're gonna get you to like New Mexico, Tiny's is a good place to start."
—Overheard at Violet Crown Cinema, Jan. 25

"I'm not buying produce today since I'm driving."
—Overheard at Whole Foods, Jan. 4