1. FCC REPEALS NET NEUTRALITY
    And as soon as everyone figures out what that means, they’ll know it’s a sure sign of the apocalypse.
  2. CDC BANS A BUNCH OF WORDS THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE BANNED
    When does the ridiculousness end? Never? OK. Just checking.
  3. CITY COUNCIL LOWERS RENT ON SANTA FE UNIVERSITY OF ART AND DESIGN CAMPUS
    …as the for-profit colleges who live for screwing over students line up, salivating
  4. SWAIA CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER TO STEP DOWN
    And unlike previous COOs, this one didn’t embezzle anything. As far as we know.
  5. BIKE UNDERPASS OFFICIALLY OPENS
    No word on future plans for the rest of the city’s deathtrappy “bike lanes”
  6. EVERYBODY HATES JEROME BLOCK JR.
    Except for journalists because, damn, this shit is riveting!
  7. IRON CHEF BOBBY FLAY SAYS NEW MEXICAN FOOD MAKING A COMEBACK
    Hey, Flay, we don’t do food to please you.