- NASA LOOKING FOR HELP NAMING NEW PLANET
Here comes Planety McPlanetpants!
- VIRGIN GALACTIC SAYS 2018 IS THE YEAR FOR COMMERCIAL SPACE FLIGHT
Hopefully in time for important people to defect from the planet before nuclear annihilation.
- JUDGE INDICTS SANTA FE MAN WHO ALLEGEDLY TRIED TO SET POLICE OFFICERS ON FIRE
Luckily, the cops had their Segway scooters, making a quick and energy-efficient escape possible.
- STATE MVD DIRECTOR WILL DURAN RESIGNS
They should make him wait four hours, interact with multiple surly state workers and thrust him into a baffling labyrinth of incompletable paperwork in order to get his final paycheck.
- FACEBOOK DOING SOMETHING OR OTHER IN LOS LUNAS
Just think of all the impermanent jobs this will temporarily create!
- EXPERTS SAY A NEWLY FOUND BILLY THE KID PHOTO IS WORTH MILLIONS
We have a bunch of old photos in the basement and we’re pretty sure they’ll save
- PHIL GRIEGO TAKES THE STAND IN REAL ESTATE CORRUPTION TRIAL
“In my defense, your honor, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get caught.”