1. RUSSIA TO ISSUE CRYPTORUBLE CURRENCY
    And we’re about to launch NewMexiCoin. Buy now!
  2. CHARGES DROPPED AGAINST FIESTA PROTESTER MARLEY
    Police were apparently too busy working on their private photo album to actually give evidence to the DA.
  3. CITY AIRPORT DIRECTOR RESIGNS
    He damn well better take a Santa Fe flight to wherever he’s going.
  4. TEXAS FAJITA THIEF STEALS $1.2 MILLION WORTH OF MEAT
    Sizzling hot trail of deliciousness led cops right to him.
  5. SANTA FE HIGH FOOTBALL TEAM HOPES TO BREAK 31-GAME LOSING STREAK
    We still believe in you, Demons.
  6. SALT MINING TO RESUME AT WIPP
    Don’t worry. It’s a nuclear waste dump designed to collapse on itself. It’s fine.
  7. US SUPREME COURT BACKS REMOVAL OF 10 COMMANDMENTS MONUMENT IN NEW MEXICO
    Now back off Citizens United and we’ll believe in you again.